My husband and I were not entirely closed to the option of having a third child. If we have a third child, we are considering it for the year of 2010 or 2011. The age gap between are 2 boys is 4 years, 5 years and 18 months respectively.
I’m on birth control and we are still discussing this issue of having a 3rd child or not before christmas this year, as it is another 3-6 months wait before my hormones get tuned back to normal from the IUD.
I just hit 30 this year. Am quite confused now as having another child is a lifetime commitment (finance, more time to children, worries etc etc) but I do not want to wait till when I’m past my productive stage that I regret later for not having another baby.
I don’t have kids yet and I know it’s hard work. But in my own opinion, I think the more the merrier (as long as your up to it physically and emotianally)!
I’ve always liked big families, yes they are quite something to handle!, but if your relaxed about it everything will just take its due course and it is so much fun for everybody
So its ultimately up to your personality and your style of raising your kids I guess !
After my second son was born we thought we were done having kids and that two was enough. But I did kind of have that nagging feeling that I wanted more. But, we decided that my husband would get a vasectomy when my youngest was only a few months old and just move on with raising our boys.
Well, about two years later I just couldn’t turn off that feeling of wanting another. I wanted it with every fiber of my being and I think the fact that I knew we couldn’t made it worse. We were financially able so hubby got a reversal. :biggrin: Three months later I was pregnant. We were lucky.
I knew again we wanted a fourth child but this time we wern’t so lucky getting pregnant right away. We tried for over a year, even doing several fertility treatments with no success. Since we knew we wanted to add to our family we decided on adoption. We had all the paper work filled out and ready to turn in when I found out I was in fact pregnant.
Now, the thought of having another baby doesn’t sound right at all. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids and wouldn’t change a thing, but I don’t want any more. I feel like our family is complete.
I guess my point is only you will know whether another child is right for you. I’m so glad we decided to have our third and fourth, because now I know what it feels like to feel complete.
I’m with nohayo, the more the merrier, if that is what you are up to.
Thanks all for sharing your views and being so open to this! I’m in a dilemna now. In my heart, I feel like we should have a 3rd one and this thought has been bugging me since the birth of my 2nd boy. My hubby and I were actually discussing about when we should have the third one when my DS2 just turned 1 year old. But things changed when my DS2 turned toddler stage.
That was the exact same feeling I had! :blink:
Esp when my 2nd boy’s ‘performance as a toddler’ is not very good. He added alot of stress into the family. But, just to be fair, I think he’s at the ‘Terrible Two’ phase right now and he’s got real nasty temper (from our genes ).
Hi sb1201,
Is having a third/fourth child more physically & emotionally demanding than having just 2? I mean I’m already handling my DS2, my husband is on DS1. We really have no hands for DS3…
At the same time, we have got friends (they have 3 children) telling us that having 3rd or 4th kid will not have incremental impact on the level of energy required, as compared to increasing from 1 child to 2 children.
If I would choose to have a 3rd one, it’s bec I didn’t want to regret later on when I’m past my productive stage that I didn’t have another baby. Plus the fact that this would be my last baby. I went through 2 C-sections for my 2 boys, so the gynae told me it will be my last pregnancy for I can no longer have the 4th, and it is a compulsory C-section for the 3rd child.
I am a full time mom and I have been since a little before my first son was born. That is something both my husband and I felt was very important for our family and I feel very blessed that we have been able to do it.
I think your friends are right that it really isn’t much harder adding the third child. Now the fourth, I feel is a different story lol I don’t know what it is but this little guy wears me out! I just got done putting him to bed for the third time in three hours. I’m up waiting for the wash to be done because he gets so mad in bed that he makes himself throw up :ohmy: He really has a bit of a temper. This is my biggest challenge right now with him is sleeping.
But now I have gotten off topic…I guess it just comes down to what you feel you can handle. If you feel in your heart that you want another child and circumstances allow for it, I think you should go for it. As for your toddler, he will only get older and (hopefully) :yes: grow out of his phases.
This is such a personal decision. What is right for one family may not be right for the next. I think you & your husband really need to go with your hearts when deciding.
NO doubt the feeling of Motherhood is one of the most precious and pious feelinds.
However what i opins is that one should at least have two kids and not more than 2. Because in case we will have many kids then probably somtimes because of financial constrain their wishes could not be fullfiled. Thus the parents should impart good education.
I agree with kmum, your heart will tell you. If you think you will regret not having third, you probably should. I don’t regret having mine. They do keep each other company and older teach younger so it’s actually easier than having just one or two.
That’s the reason which kinda stopped us.
In Singapore where we live, the cost of living is so darn high and we dunno what will happen in the future should we lose our jobs. Worries do not end after we give birth - it’s actually the beginning.
Anyway, we have decided to come to a decision by Christmas. So I’m keeping my fingers crossed.
i would love to have three childeren i just had my first and due to the complicatons and the several surguries i had to go through i might not be able to have any more so it makes me sad but i am blessed and if it happens it happens but every family situation is different i’ve also decided that i may addopt and give a child a home that might not have been able to have one i think it would be very rewording to give that opertunity to such an inucent child but in the end it all depends on what you your self would like to do.
I agree that it’s a very personal decision.And it will depend on many many factors,your believes, finances,medical care etc.From my personal experience as to how I managed with more than 2 I would say it was much harder when second child came along than third or fourth .When I think about it every new addition to your family requiers a lot of addjusting ,learning and growing together as a family.By the way ,I have more time for my own needs now than with number 1.But it’s not for every one,and I wish you all the best with decision making
At present i have only 1 son.I want another kid but my hubby is saying strictly ‘no’.He doesnt want anymore kids because of physical tireness and sleepless nites.We stay in USA and we dont have any helping hand if we have another kid.If we go through this doman method,shichida method and all it requires lots of hard work and if i will have another kid than offcourse i will follow all this eucation method an breastfeeding and all but again it’s lots of hard work and my hubby is not ready for it at all.
I think it is more of an economic issue. Unless you have a lot of money, I do not think most people can afford three kids in today’s world. But if you are tired and not having fun now, why would you want to add to your stress level? Life should be fun for you and your children. I agree with your husband.
As it’s an economic issue and a couple decision families are being decreased I have two cousins that against all of this modernity have 6 kids each and they’re really happy families I would like to have more children but my husband ants only one more maybe in the future we can decide for the third is a good number. Think about it. Believe in Family and work for it.
I have 5 kids. Most were two years apart, but after the 4th it took both my self and my husband a while (5 years) to want to have another child. I think having #3-5 were less of an ajustment than having #2. By then, you are sort of used to having babies and know how to handle them.
But they are one more person that wants your attention. Now that the older ones are older (12-6), they play so well together and help me a lot. It is getting to the point where it is helpful to have them, and life is a little easier because they are there. I also love all the interpersonal relationships. Each child is loved by so many in the family. They also know what it is liked to be sinned against and have learned how to deal with it. I think that is a benefit for having more than one child.
However, I do not think it is right for everyone. Especially if your husband is against it. (If you were a Christian, I would say to pray and ask God to help direct you and to help your husband want more children - if that is what you are wanting. Then let Him do the convincing.) I have health issues and having more children might not be wise at this point. And I was really tired and had to rely a lot on my husband and older children during the last preganacy (I’m getting old . My husband knew it would be that way, but came to the point where he was willing to pay the price to have another bundle of joy around.
Yes, it is a personal choice, there are costs involved, but there are also blessing. Have another child, don’t have another child and wait to have another child can all be good answers. I’ve come to all of those conclusions at different times of my life.
I’ve never, ever heard of someone who regretted having one of their children.
Look at your wonderful little guy…when he’s giggling and running around, or when he stuffs a grape up his nose, or when he says something wonderful or unusual. Children are wonderful! There’s just no getting around it for me–children are a gift from God.
I just absolutely wouldn’t let the idea of Doman and Schiada stop me from having another child. Glenn Doman says if you can’t do it joyfully, don’t do it at all. In a way, you’re saying something like “It’s too much work to do all this teaching, and I don’t want to have a “normal” child…” Well, what’s the harm with that?
Don’t let this consume you. You have to feed your child. You have to love your child. But lots and lots of brilliant individuals (most of them in history, in fact) have become brilliant with only that–food and love. Everything you do, all the cards, all the books…they’re just “extra.” They’re not absolutely essential, even for greatness. They’re just icing on a super-delicious cake :laugh:
).
. My husband knew it would be that way, but came to the point where he was willing to pay the price to have another bundle of joy around.