Indeed! I too read that article years ago and I also find the blue pink thing absurd. Nearly every little boy love pink. It is a bright happy color… Until it is knocked out of them by social pressures.
I love looking at old unknown photos of babyish and young children in dresses. They often say boy? Girl? Because both wore dresses at the time.
And I have always adored rhat little picture of FDR.
Some Amish sects still dress their boys in dresses for many years. James wore night gowns for a long time. They were so convenient. And he had pink woolen soakers because someone passed them on to me.
I still think that wearing colors according to your gender is part of fitting in and growing your self consciousnesses. There are several types of adult clothing too which are equally absurd but I would still wear them (in those positions!) to give the instant impression of being part of the group. Police men wear uniforms to give an impression of authority and reliability. Doctors wear white to give an idea of being hygienic and professional. Business people are wearing suites to instantly give an impression of trust worthy person who knows what he is doing and has expertise.
I think it is very important to give an clear model to a child what is expected (clothes, toys, behavior,…) until the child is able and willing to decide by himself. Often ideas of personal characteristics are built in the matter of moments based on stereotypes. Let’s use them accordingly! :biggrin:
When my daughter was born, I disliked pink color. I bought only clothing which was green, yellow, white and sand. Daughter had also some pink clothing, given by relatives. When she was 1.5 years old, I discovered that it is mush easier to dress her if the clothing is pink. With other colors, she had much more resistance You know, sometimes children do not allow to dress up them. This way, pink color came in our house. I did not resist to her desire to wear pink.
And I started to think - what I have against the pink? It is just a color, like other colors. Nowadays, pink is connected to femininity. Probably, my dislike towards pink color is connected to some denial of femininity inside myself. Something went wrong with me in this age. I know it. And I lack confidence. Well, and I wish that this will be better with my daughter.
My kids have their own IKEA dish colors. My oldest son has blue, my oldest daughter has pink (their choice), my second son has green, my second daughter is now being introduced to yellow. lol It’s a practicality thing for us, but it has spread to other aspects of life as well. When I buy notebooks and folders for our school papers, they get those colors. Very useful. Patrick thinks “green” is his color, not because he’s a boy, but because it’s his. Green is his favorite color, as it has been assigned to him. I don’t think the majority of girl’s favorite color would be pink except for how we use it culturally. There’s nothing wrong with that, IMO. I love frilly pink dresses on my girls and my boys love playing with toy swords and guns. My daughter is allowed the same privilege but she doesn’t choose that game and I’m okay with it. I’m thrilled that my daughter can have pink and purple legos because she wasn’t very interested in them until she got them in her favorite color.
That article was very interesting. I didn’t know about the color swap we’ve done as a culture.
I grew up reading Ladybird early readers and Enid Blyton and even in the early 1980s I noticed the heavy sexism in these books. I had a twin brother and thought it was highly unfair in the books that girls never did the exciting scary stuff or the more active energetic stuff. I was a tomboy - climbed trees, ran along walls, refused to wear dresses. I became a veterinarian studying at a place where the girls residences had once been for boys and still had urinals in the girls toilets.
I am not a feminist however. I feel in many ways sorry for men as their role in life has in many ways been minimised and many of their roles have been taken over by women. School is much more suited to girls too which sets boys up for failure at a young age. I think that people are individuals and should be allowed to be who they are - but that they must be true to themselves and not take on the ideas of other people - which is hard when you are very young.
What will my daughters be - I hope they will be confident in who they are, do what they choose to do and feel that they can make the choices that they want to make - I want them to be a career women if they want to be, but drop it all to bring up children if that is what they choose and not feel guilty about it. I wan them to know that they deserve respect as all people do - not because they are male or female, but because they are human.
If they like pink, then I want them to feel happy with that colour - if they hate it then I want them to have the choice not to wear it - but as far as colours go I would like them to see the beauty in all the colours in different circumstances, I would rather they can tell someone why they like a particular colour (and also why they are making certain decisions) than feel that they are expected to like something based on their gender.
I want them to know how to protect themselves in a harsh world - when to submit, when to fight and when to run, when to stand up for themselves and when to let something ago without allowing it to damage their self esteem.
4 year old DD is into princesses, hello kitty, and the rest of those “girl” toys and characters. I see it as relatively harmless, she has actually only seen one or two of the movies I think, but has seen the characters online, in books, or on a read along/sing along princess dvd we have. Quite a while ago, she announced that her little brother was going to be a biologist and she was going to be a princess when she grew up. Of course, I was naturally alarmed and horrified (haha) but didn’t show it. Instead, we used it as a springboard to start a discussion about what she loves the most, and the answer was (and mostly still is) bugs. So it turned out that she will be a Princess Entomologist when she grows up…for the moment anyway. Now that, I can deal with. lol
I cetainly read the wrong “girl” books when I was growing up. I can seldom recall any weaker characters. There are so many strong girl characters out there who were rough and tumble brawling, doing dangrous things.I just want the parents of girls to know that there are some female role models out there that stood in the face of adversity and persevered.
Madeline for the Madeline picture books is adventurous and fearless.
Mary Lennox from the Secret Garden is orphaned after her parents die of cholera. She is shipped off to live with an ornery distant uncle in a distant land.
Lucy and Mary from the Chronicles of Narnia became a warrior and a healer.
Alanna from Song of the Lioness dressed as a boy and became a knight. And an exceptional one at that!
Pippie Longstocking was a complete dare devil and daughter of a pirate.
Jo from Little Women was a tomboy.
Laura from The Little House series was spunky. And faced great adversity throughout her life. Especially when she was first married and they almost lost their farm and were barely eating.
Little Orphan Annie would deck a kid to defend the little ones. She was extremely spunky.
Scout from To Kill a Mockingbird. Smart as a whip and rough and tumble too. I don’t think she wore a dress a day in her life.
And I am sure there are many more that I can’t think of off the top of my head.
Thank you Tamsyn for sharing this beautiful video! It made me think what it means to be a mother and lead me to think motherhood as the role of responsibility, contribution and graciousness.
