update about my little ones .

hello friends
i didn’t share an update about how my kids are doing for a long time so here we go :
Tina is six , Matti 4y 3 months . It is my special need daughter Isa who opened our eyes to the amazing world of EL and taught us what babies are capable of . We were on The Institutes intensive program for years did the brain injured child and better baby course. Unfortunately heir physical program didn’t help our daughter , she is still very hurt physically and we have moved on and adopted another therapies which helped her more . Isa did great on their intellectual program , she was reading independently at 2 with full understanding , developed speed reading and was able to learn very advanced subjects .

I was looking forward to do the program again with my well children .I learned so much in my journey caring for isa about physical , emotional , intellectual excellence ,I couldn’t wait to use it with them . i was so confident it will be easy thing to do . I was so wrong .
My kids were born at home , natural unassisted gentle water birth , just me and my husband , after isa’s traumatic birth i couldn’t trust any doctor .
my babies crawled , held their head up looking left and right with eyes wide open from the moment they were born , pulled themselves up on furniture a only few months old , were on the go all the time , moving exploring … flash cards never worked with them , it was so difficult teaching a moving target compared to isa who couldn’t move and was there like a sponge absorbing everything and asking for more .
they said their first words at 6 months , were talking in full sentences before their first birthday .
they tandem nursed , meaning shared nursing , tina weaned herself at 5 , matti at 3.5 . it was so odd for everybody around us that they nursed so long and they nursed together .
hose moments we had together were so precious and i am so happy unlike when babies wean early and can never remember they nursed , my kids proudly talk about those moments and how much they enjoyed it . I can say learning , reading books mostly happened during those times , and later before nap and at the end of busy day when they were too exhausted to move their body , only then they would stop and learn .
In our community kids are sent to school or nursery at 2 or even before . I never planed to homeschooled them . All i wanted is to keep them longer at home so they bond with their hurt sister . I am a teacher in my previous life :slight_smile: and i learned so much bringing up Isa I wanted them to be with us at home . I have to admit i also felt i could save money by keeping them home , money we need it for isa’s ongoing therapies .
During this time I learned about Montessori and fell in love with the montessori approach , i did an online primary teaching course and started making material setting up a homeschool room .Like i said physical flashcards , sight reading never worked for us , i felt so disappointed , frustrated till i found out about brillbaby and it was god sent . not that my kids learn to read following the program , but i credit brillbaby for their advanced vocabulary and general knowledge . my kids didn’t as babies like many of the babies on this forum , but i continued to show them words , read books to them . Only when i introduced dad dude cards and some phonic instruction that their reading took off .we never read bob books or beginners leveled readers . they wanted more meaty content , they picked up words from books we read together , then we did lots of joined reading .Sitting for a book was the only time my kids would stop and take a break from jumping around . Friends even suggested tina might be hyperactive or have ADD , hehe , and they suggested medication .
Thinking about it now maybe having my first child completely immobile , i just couldn’t interfere with their need to move , play and discover . i didn’t want to stop it to show a stack of cards . i simply let them be . i made sure to provide them a healthy environment where they can thrive .I spend endless hours online reading blogs looking at beautiful photos of kids doing montessori activities , or reading about other kids learning with their mummies .
my kids won’t let me teach them anything . whenever i sit and announce i want to show you something , my baby would say ; mama i will show you , grab whatever material i have for him , play with it for a while than walk away . boy i was frustrated and felt like i am failing in teaching my babies . At three i sent them to school and they didn’t last 2 weeks , they begged me not to go and stay and learn with me at home .
How do we school ?? i myself still don’t know :slight_smile: i still have to spend many hours a day caring feeding doing hands on therapies with my Isa . My dream was and still for them to become independent learners , i am there to help them when they need me but i can continue to work with Isa . I worked hard on setting our school room , packed with educational material . they showed little interest and we are rarely in there . The one investment i never regret was our big libray of books . my kids would spend hours running in the garden , pretend play ,… and they take a break crash on their bean bags surrounded by piles of books , enough time to catch their breath and go out again .
school time , nope we don’t have .
no structured curriculum , , little table work . Can this be un-schooling ?? Tina didn’t do any writing before she was 5.5 . and in six months time she progressed to have a beautiful cursive handwriting . She reads so well , learns quickly and remember what she learned , very good memory .
Why i am writing today is to encourage other parents who are frustrated and feel their babies are still not reading , it doesn’t matter if your child read at 6 months or 1 or 2 , of course it would have saved me pulling my hair and getting upset and frustrated and relax and enjoy my kids even more . The time we are spending together reading playing interacting , my kids were learning all the time and they show what they know in their own time .
Homeschooling is not common in Gambia . I am the only homeschool mum in my area . I keep hearing negative comments and criticism about what we are doing , how much my kids are missing out on things . I myself question daily my decision and wonder if what we are doing is enough or if my kids are really missing out on things by staying home with me . i am exhausted trying to plan playdates and enjoy other kids company , my kids request their friends all the time . I tell them if it is so important for them to be with their friends they can choose to go to school but of course they would say no we want to learn at home with mama . I tell them but we are not working much on school ( meaning i did purchase few workbooks and books in various subjects for our school time , but unfortunately our days are so unstructured , we make a lesson one day and stop for a week because kids find interest in other things to learn .

Today was so special for me , because i always felt we are not doing enough , a very good friend who is an english teacher and tutor most of my kids schooled friends in the afternoon ( yes this is also something i found hard to understand , kids here go to school and have private tutoring in the afternoon because parents feel they are not learning anything at school so poor kids have no time to be kids during the week ) she felt my worries and knew how busty i am with isa so she proposed to have Tina twice a week to give me a small break and Tina the opportunity to learn with other kids ( she takes them 2 or 3 at a time ) .
Today i go to pick tina up after her lesson and what i hear was music to my heart . They had a reading test , tina 6 was placed to work with two 9 years old kids doing grade 3-4 work, my friend , the kids were all praising tina talking how excellent she was in her test . My friend said Tina is wonderful motivation for those older kids seeing at only six how much she is able to do , even one of them was so determined to learn to write cursive and asked tina to help her write beautiful like her .
Also today while his sister was having her private lesson , i sat with my 4 years old trying to give him some one on one feeling sorry he is not getting enough time with mama . I read all your posts about handwriting and all what you are doing with your kids and felt I am not spending enough time with him working on that . we read together then i got a small lap blackboard and told him let us try to write some letters . he took the chalk from my hand and said mama i can do it and sure enough he was able to write all his letters not tracing or copying , i would say a letter , he will stop , think for seconds then write it with proper strokes . I was so happy , he was so proud of himself . This is a boy who never had any writing instructions . The only way i explain it is we have a big wall chalkboard and most of our learning with tina happens there while he is playing around with his cars or blocks . he often repeated things I was teaching Tina few days later . yes he won’t sit for school or to learn but he was learning all the time .

Wow I was really slow to understand and trust in what we are doing , myself and my kids . Up till today i was still questioning my decision to home school , would they miss out on anything , can i teach them , do i have enough time having to care for isa ???
Today with confidence and pride I can say i am a homeschool mum and pray that we could continue to do it . I spend every minute of the day enjoying my kids and they are still learning much better then their schooled friends .
maybe if i can add more structure to our life , maybe if i have more time , we can learn more , i can accelerate my kids learning more . This used to frustrate me ,
remember it is not a race , don’t let EL make you anxious and keep you from enjoying your time with your little ones . it doesn’t matter for me anymore if we advance 3 grades in a year . what is more important that they are happy and they love learning and they have their whole life to keep learning .
i am sorry this is getting long but i felt like sharing with you all , and thank you for being there for me all these years , the love and support i get here i couldn’t get it even from my family and closest friends . Thank you xxxx
Viviane proud mama to Isabelle , Christina and Matthew

Dear Vivianne
What a beautiful testimony!
How precious that you share your successes as well as your doubts. You are a great mother, keep up the good work!

Thank you for your story. it was very encouraging. I worry that I’m not doing enough. I have a son with a learning disability. My daughter is advanced but she is resistant to formal lessons with me. She claims to know it all. My son is the older and needs much more help and support, so I focus on him. I feel guilty that I’m not doing enough with my resistant smarty pants daughter. However she is a few years ahead in reading and a couple years ahead in math. I have an enriched environment. Somehow she soaks up information without formal intervention. But it is hard not to compare and think my daughter could do more if she would accept some formal lessons. She goes to school but the work is too easy. Again it feels good to hear from a perspective that is so similar. You are doing a wonderful job with your kids especially the special needs child.

Lori

what a great story. you are perfect mom. i salute u

Thanks for the great story.really encourage me.

Hi Bella!

Thank you for writing this inspiring story! It touched me deeply and wish you all the best. I think it is better to believe those who say you are able to do things than those you who are against you. Listening your heart will take you to right places. It is often hard to do the right decisions when you don’t have any role models (or other home schooling mothers) living near by you. Sounds like you are great mom to your children and doing great job doing what is best for your children. Isn’t that what parenthood is all about.

Hugs! Kristiina

Wow! It’s wonderful to hear what you have done. I always fear that I am not doing enough and feeling stress whether I am doing it right. Thanks for the testimony. I am going to learn from you and take it easy. You are inspiring mom! You have done a great job! Well done! :smiley:

So lovely to read your update. You and your kids are doing a wonderful job and are an inspiration for my family.

Viviane, thanks for your update, what a wonderful story and what a great family you are!! I think you are so right to trust your instincts that your well children benefit a lot from spending time with their sister Isa. It is such an important learning experience for life spending time with her and helping her and it will give them a lot of understanding about the world on a more meaningful level. In schools generally children with special needs or physical disabilities are excluded which gives the well children a twisted way of seeing life. Vulnerability is part of life and caring for your family and community is what life is all about and it is great to get to see that from the beginning!!

As to your doubts re EL, I am so with you. The problem when you read about others is that they only tell about the “productive” part of the day and you think “wow, these people are studying and learning all day, and in my home, we spend so much time cooking, eating, trying to bring the baby to sleep, feeding the baby, walking around, dealing with a tantrum here or there, how come others are all day doing flash cards and learning games and exploration?” . This is how I feel but then sometimes what helps me at the end of the day I just think of all the new things or lovely things we did, and even if there was six hours of routine, tantrum, boredom and so on, I can always find at least ten things like “I baked a cake with my daughter”, “we spent half an hour doing jigsaw”, “we did one hour of bedtime stories and singing at the end of the day”, “we were at a friend’s house and she did two hours of role plays with my friend’s children” and then I realise actually it was a great day!

Good luck with the future! You are doing great!

Thank you so much for sharing. I also have this feeling so often that I’m not doing enough with my kids. But they ARE learning anyway, it seems :slight_smile:

Great testimony, thanks for sharing.