Sometimes I feel like crying, my 21 month old has recently, for the past 2 months resorted to beating/pinching/punching others/throwing things (not at himself but at others) when he’s angry or doesn’t get his way. I used to reason with him calmly but firmly whenever he did it for the 1st month - to no avail!, but my fuse is totally out, these days I spank him on his hand or softly slap him whenever he’s being stubborn! (pitiful, I know). But I don’t know what else to do??? After the spanking, and a few tears, he’s better… and in minutes repeats his actions!!!
It happens more than 10-15 times a day. He’s generally a very loving child, laughs alot and listens to most things we ask him to do, eats all his food and was an extremely easy baby from the time he was born… no fuss at all! But he’s been showing quite a stubborn streak recently and I’m very worried, and embarrassed too!
I have no idea what to do, my hubby and I are at our wits end… PLEASE HELP!!!
Oh my, I was in your shoes a few weeks ago. My son (2.8 years old) was even worse than yours! He was a fun, and loving kid but one day he just did not want to do things we asked him to do. He screamed, threw things, hit, and bit. I tried reasoning with him, sitting and looking into his eyes, told him how I felt and what should be done, bla bla…all the golden rules you should do with kids but nothing worked!
We were on vacation last week, and he was so not himself that I did not know what to do with him anymore. I spent one of my vacation nights searching for a book, and found 1-2-3 Magic by Thomas Phelan. I used the 123 counting with him, and voila! It works! I only have to count to 2 to get him to stop doing things we don’t want him to do. Well, having said that, he still tries to test my boundary but I feel more calm, and in control of the situation. I am so pleased and love spending time with my son even more.
I even use the tricks from the book to wean co sleeping and it has worked like “magic” for 3 nights in a row. lol
I have to agree with Mae_Jakob_Ka 1-2-3 Magic worked very well for me. I had a similar problem and I followed the program and my daughter responded very well. She was very well behaved until just before her 2nd birthday then the terrible twos hit. I spent three miserable months trying to figure out what to do about her tantrums, hitting, kicking, and biting. About a month after starting 1-2-3 Magic she became mommy’s little helper. Now she just turned 3 and even my mom says my daughter is so well behaved that she will take her anywhere.
We do our discipline via the “Naughty Step” and actually I can’t remember the last time we had to put him there, he’s 3 1/2 and usually it just takes one warning and he stops the bad behavior. http://www.supernanny.co.uk/Advice/-/Parenting-Skills/-/Discipline-and-Reward/The-Naughty-Step.aspx. We started using this technique at 18-24 months although our family looked at us like we were nuts for having our “baby” sit on time out. It worked really well though and he quickly realized what it meant and what a warning was.
Of course we’re not perfect parents and lose our cool at times too, but these techniques really have helped us to be more calm and approach things in a way we feel good about, and that’s gotten good results.
Good luck to you!! I know it’s so hard sometimes to know what to do for our children. Hang in there.
hi guys!!!
sorry for jumping in so late, was having trouble with my internet connection. Thank you so much for your ideas!!! LDSMom, I tried the supernanny technique and I think it’s working! Cant believe that my little son actually stands in his naughty mat for an entire 2 minutes, still hasn’t learnt to say the word “sorry” yet, but I think he knows that he’s wrong and doesn’t repeat it again. I’ll try this technique for a while and hope it works!!! and thanks for the 1-2-3 Magic book is a fantastic idea too… will try to get a hold of the book… Grateful for all the advice!
I haven’t had the pleasure of the terrible twos, yet lol but the naughty corner works wonders (as long as HE feels he has misbehaved). He is usually there only once or twice a week, though of course there are days when he seems to be there all the time! I always ask him to say sorry - he just gave me a kiss and cuddle until last week when he surprised me by saying sorry! The last time he was put in the corner, after about thirty seconds he started chanting ‘sorry sorry sorry’ in the hope of leaving sooner :rolleyes:
I think whatever discipline you use, if you aren’t consistent it won’t work. Good luck with the tantrums
I tried reasoning with him, sitting and looking into his eyes, told him how I felt and what should be done, bla bla…all the golden rules you should do with kids but nothing worked!
