I follow the advice in this article (Http://bit.ly/bYhWyi) as best I can and find much more calm, respect and trust between my kids and me. It is an atmosphere more condusive to learning and developing.
Nice article, thanks!,
Since we are on the topic, just wondering if you stop people from “ape talk” to your baby?
all input is welcome 
Good article. Thanks for sharing it.
As for “ape talk”…I can’t say that I’ve corrected anyone other than my parents right at the beginning. They caught on however very quickly that that wasn’t the way we were going to speak to my son. Now they talk about things “rotating” instead of “turning” and about things going “in reverse” instead of “backwards”. It’s fun to watch them be excited about him using the BIG words that they’ve taught him.
The “ape talk” doctor is just so extreme and so disrespectful to our children. Our kids will ALWAYS rise to the occasion…
Can someone tell me - what’s ape talk?
thanksfor sharing :biggrin:
Shen Li - ape talk is referred to/explained in the article.
You have to read. ‘Ape Talk’ has been a real movement, basically mimicking the first sounds your child makes, as if this is communicating. It’s horrendously disrespectful to the infant.
Great article! KARMA!
Kizudo - my bad. You’re right, it’s in the article. I was in a rush and skimmed the article so I missed it - reading fast has never been my strong point.
McDume - a lot of baby activity books talk about mirroring your baby, including the sounds that he makes. Wouldn’t that be considered “ape” talk? In fact a lot of articles that talk about how to spur your baby’s language acquisition also make reference to mimicking your baby’s sounds. I tried googling “Ape Talk” but nothing came up. Is there another name for it?
I was thinking the same thing. I have read in a lot of places that mimicking your baby is good for their development. It lets them know you are listening and responding. I’m not saying go around all day grunting and making high pitched squeals, but I don’t see why it is a bad thing.
The ‘Ape Talk’ doctor is Harvey Karp. Very extreme. Re mirroring… seems to me the most effective way to enhance/encourage language development is by extending whatever it is the baby is saying, rather than mimicking? Like, if baby says “bus”, we might respond by acknowledging, “You saw a bus. I saw the bus, too.” Or something like that, so that it’s a real interactive exchange, the beginning of conversation.
Just my opinion.
I think what was suggested to me was to lets say your child says “baba” for bottle. You can reply “Baba! Yes! Great using your words I can get your bottle” Model their attempted, and praise it, then say it correctly. This way in no way are you telling the child they are wrong, you are praising them for their attempt and modeling the correct way to say it.
I think I agree… I think. As long as it’s a quasi conversation. I mean, imagine if you were in a foreign country, trying to say ‘I need a bathroom’ (and saying it totally wrong), and the local was just mimicking what you said… very frustrating, not helpful, disrespectful.
Nice article. I’ve never used “ape talk” or baby talk with my girls. I always spoke to them about everything in a soft voice, using real words. Even though, when the babies used a certain sound like “da”. I would repeat it. “oh, you said “da”. Like da da, daddy.” I think it helps to talk to them in full sentences with real words. My oldest started putting sentences together at 18 months. And now at 2 1/2 she can hold a conversation with any adult. But of course she still throws her fits like any toddler. I will have to always remember to aknowledge her feelings like the article says.
I don’t correct strangers that ape talk to my toddlers since they won’t be around enough to influence them. But grandparents have been the worst offenders here and are still doing this to my 2 1/2 year olds. After reading this article point 7 talks about variation sets. I pointed this out to the grandparents and now they still use ape talk, but then follow it up with a real sentence. I think that this will eventually help them break the habit. It is improvement and I didn’t have to confront them about what they are doing wrong.
Thanks for that article, My Sunshine. Interesting part about the variation sets. It is a good reminder. I know that sometimes I don’t slow down enough to do this and realize that it is something I should make more of an effort to do.
It is actually possible to tame a temper tantrum by acknowledging the toddler’s point of view, the 4th secret in the original article (tp://bit.ly/bYhWyi). It is amazing to see it work the first time. This won’t work for all tantrums, sometimes the child is overtired, hungry or in pain for example, but it works for most the tantrums my children have.
Here is an example from earlier today…
We had to go grocery shopping, the twins were engrossed in play and didn’t want their diapers changed. My son decided he wanted to play with the train blocks just as I started changing his diaper. I told him that we needed to go to the store but he could play with them after naptime. He started wailing. I said “you sound mad that I won’t let you play with the train blocks. You really want to play with them, huh?†“It would be so much fun playing with those blocks, wouldn’t it?†At this point I start describing all the different fun things he could do with the blocks. “You could stack the blocks, roll the wheels on the floor, look at the animals and letters…†or I might try phrasing them as questions, but he isn’t much into answering. The whole time I was talking to him I actually changed his diaper plus he was calm and happy by the time I finished.
Surprisingly, many discipline issues are actually communication issues. The book that suggests ape talk is commonly recommended to help improve communication with toddlers, but I always found the concept undignified. A much better book on communication with toddlers and preschoolers is Becoming the Parent You Want to Be. It is full of sample scripts from real situations and has reall worked miracles for my family. I have mentioned it several times in previous threads because the book is that good. Here it is discussed in more detail. http://forum.brillkids.com/coffee-corner/twenty-alternatives-to-punishment/msg52071/#msg52071
Article is good. Thanks for posting it here… karma to u…
Another article along the same lines talking about acknowledging the tough transitions our babies face.
http://bit.ly/94Tq9y. Again, it seems to come down to communicating, preparing, treating our children like the intelligent human beings they are.