The Spark (a mother's story of nurturing genius) Book Review

The Little Lounge Coffee Corner - General Chat
1

I won’t really go into depth about the book and will leave it simple for you.

This book gets 5 of 5 stars from me. It was well written, to the point where I suspect there was hired help to author it. Further, there were elements that reminded me of the Swann’s book (mostly with how bad things get)

The Spark is about the journey of the Barnett family, Jake in particular, who’s appearances on 60 minutes and other popular shows have been posted here in the BK forum. His Ted talk was also posted in here a short while ago.

I appreciated those video postings, but I’m going to give you a caveat. The impression I had from the postings was “hey, here’s another kid doing amazing things like attending college at the age of 12.” Such a simple view doesn’t do the kid justice at all. From those videos, I knew Jake Barnett was the real deal, but after reading the book I know he’s not only the real deal, he’s in some very elite company. I have no qualms about potentially putting him up there with names like Newton, Einstein, Bohr, and Keppler. He doesn’t belong in that company yet based solely on what’s been published, but my guess is he could hang with any of them. I also used to think that when Jake said “I was diagnosed with autism” that it was some sort of misdiagnosis. I no longer think this. He’s autistic all right. His brain is wired similarly as Kim Peek, which means Jake is a savant - though one that can actually function in the real world.

“The Spark,” as it were, refers to the spark that lights a fire.

Carol Dweck, the author of Mindset, says that successful parenting boils down to two things: 1. noticing what fascinates your child and 2. praising them for their efforts.

The concept of The Spark would fulfill the first part of Carol’s equation. The mother believes in connecting with a child via their fascinations. In this book, she gives a few examples of how she was able to help several autistic children with this in mind. For Jake, his spark was astronomy. She bought him an astronomy text book when he was 3 and he loved the book until it fell apart.

There’s not a whole lot of “early learning” in this book. I believe, if anything, this is where the EL parent may not enjoy the book. However, there is one big theme that I took out of this - and that is, there is no stopping the power of the autodidact.

If you can find the spark and use it to create an autodidact, there will be no stopping your child. For Jake, learning was its own reward. For everyone else, well… we’re still trying to figure that out, aren’t we?

2

LOL! I haven’t read what you’ve written, but I had to laugh. You know how my time is so limited lately - well, I came on here just to post about this and of course, you’ve beat me to it! Love it! :slight_smile:

3

I saw “The Spark” on display at the library and thought, didn’t someone say to read that? So I picked it up. It was great! Very well-written and fascinating subject matter.

One thing I loved from it was when the mom said that as long as her son got a certain amount of astronomy time a day, he could function socially the rest of the time. When for various reasons his astronomy time dropped, he reverted to non-functional autistic behaviors. I thought about this with non-autistic kids: if you can give them enough time to pursue their passions, it might help in getting them to do necessary things that they’re not passionate about. For instance, if I end up using the Robinson Curriculum, I might be able to motivate a kid by explaining that if they spend a minimum amount of time on math and reading that they may not be too interested in, they can use the rest of the time to read and write about their passions. And, of course, out of school time is fair game for whatever they love. I don’t know how well it would work in practice, but it makes logical sense to me. As Pokerdad said, the author is very intent on helping children follow their passions. Even her non-autistic/savant sons are doing things beyond what “normal” teenagers are “supposed” to be able to do, and the kids in her daycare as well. I like the idea of finding your gift and working on it, but I’m always a little worried that “follow your passion” will turn into unschooling-style “do whatever you want,” and I’m not comfortable with that. Or else that I’ll have to spend an insane amount of time making a math program based on penguins, or whatever my girl is currently fascinated with. The author does do that kind of thing somewhat, but as the kids become more functional she expects more of them in terms of doing other things than just their passions. I liked how she struck a balance.

I also really admired her balance between therapy and education, and normal “being a kid.” That is something I think we’re all conscious of as EL parents, if only because so many people think we’re not! I am not at all like her in her focus on traditions and decorations and doing things big. She brought a live llama to daycare for their farm week, and goes crazy with Halloween decorations! I don’t decorate for holidays beyond creche scenes at Christmas (I love those,) and low-maintenance is my watchword. But I agree with the theory, even if in practice it will look different at my house than hers. Spending time outside, props for imaginative play, and music are all essential childhood traditions to me, and those are a big part of my girls’ lives. She had to fight even harder get her son time free from therapy so that he could be a kid sometimes. And since he was autistic, she had to manage things heavily to keep him involved socially; her son’s room was the videogaming hub of the neighborhood so that the other boys would come over.

I read this book and came away energized to really support my girls’ passions. I’m not sure what they are yet; Big Girl A is very into animal family groups and lifestyles right now, but I have a feeling it will change. And I have no idea with Baby S, but now I’m going to start paying attention more to what she loves. I don’t think all kids show their fascinations this young, though Jake certainly did. But I will stay more open to it. I’m going to work harder to support Big Girl A’s animal family fascination, rather than just letting it be a cute idea. We’ll see what happens.

4

^^ Woah! My husband and I have been thinking the same thing about James. Not astronomy per se. But certainly with math. On the days that I don’t do math with him he has more autistic episodes, sensory breaks, stimming. We thought it sounded crazy. And doesn’t make sense. Bu maybe there is more to it than we think.

5

Okay, hang in there with me on this post to the end…

In college, I took “Animal Behavior” and didn’t do all that great in it nor enjoy it as much as I thought I would - there was one phenomena discussed that I remember vividly. It’s called The Fixed Action Pattern. This is where captive predatory birds would spontaneously pluck their feathers out going totally bald, as one example. The solution was to place either a dead or dummy chicken in the aviary where the predator bird could pluck its feathers.

My belief is that all animals have some hard wiring that will dictate behavior. I know that might sound a bit strange to some of you, and to others will make sense; this will especially sound like a weird analogy if you do not categorize people as “animals” - so perhaps just think of it as all living things have some sort of hard wiring, and of which we are a living thing.

When deprived of something needed; a hard wired need that is, the living being will need to assuage that need somehow and this can put the need at the front of queue. Nothing else is done until the need is met. Hence, a bird that plucks out all its feathers for no logical reason.

Perhaps Jake and others (myself included, though maybe not as noticeable) cannot function properly until certain hard wired needs are met.

Perhaps there’s a different explanation all together…

this post was mostly just a running hypothesis where I’m sharing my thoughts. I could be way off and using the concept where it’s not applicable. But I have noticed this to a lesser degree with my self, so I doubt it’s totally without basis.

6

Interesting.
I agree with the idea that children need a certain amount of “something” each day. For one of my children it is outside time in advanced physical movement. ( advanced gets challenging as the children get older I can tell you that! :yes: ) My sister needs to be outside daily to function normally in a mental sense…took her years to figure that out and she still needs reminding.
My second child struggles if her life doesn’t include enough art and creativity. I can tell when school has been all work and no play for her and we postpone ( or ignore!) her homework in favour of some painting.
My son must partake in some imaginative role play each day or he gets short of temper and sulky. They are perfectly normal kids ( no autism or diagnosis) but they have definite needs. Interestingly 2 of the three of them have their NEED in direct link to their life Passion. The third has yet to choose a passion I can determine.
The book sounded interesting before but the more you post the more I feel I need to add it to my reading list! :ohmy: I am getting thought he list. I am. I am. I am… :tongue: