My two year old Daughter Zoey has been having temper tantrums >:( for about three days now.
She only has fits when she is in time out.
Does anyone have any suggestions?
Hi tiszms,
I happenned to browse through the internet and found the below information. Hope it helps :-
Strong emotions are hard for a young child to hold inside. When children feel frustrated, angry, or disappointed, they often express themselves by crying, screaming, or stomping up and down. As a parent, you may feel angry, helpless, or embarrassed. Temper tantrums are a normal part of your child’s development as he learns self-control. In fact, almost all children have tantrums between the ages of 1 and 3. You’ve heard them called “the terrible twos.” The good news is that by age 4, temper tantrums usually stop.
Your young child is busy learning many things about her world. She is eager to take control. She wants to be independent and may try to do more than her skills will allow. She wants to make her own choices and often may not cope well with not getting her way. She is even less able to cope when she is tired, hungry, frustrated, or frightened. Controlling her temper may be one of the most difficult lessons to learn.
Temper tantrums are a way for your child to let off steam when she is upset. Following are some of the reasons your child may have a temper tantrum:
• Your child may not fully understand what you are saying or asking, and may get confused.
• Your child may become upset when others cannot understand what she is saying.
• Your child may not have the words to describe her feelings and needs. After 3 years of age, most children can express their feelings, so temper tantrums taper off. Children who are not able to express their feelings very well with words are more likely to continue to have tantrums.
• Your child has not yet learned to solve problems on her own and gets discouraged easily.
• Your child may have an illness or other physical problem that keeps her from expressing how she feels.
• Your child may be hungry, but may not recognize it.
• Your child may be tired or not getting enough sleep.
• Your child may be anxious or uncomfortable.
• Your child may be reacting to stress or changes at home.
• Your child may be jealous of a friend or sibling. Children often want what other children have or the attention they receive. (I think this is one of the reason in your case as Zoey has a new sibling)
• Your child may not yet be able to do the things she can imagine, such as walking or running, climbing down stairs or from furniture, drawing things, or making toys work.
Managing temper tantrums
As a parent, you can sometimes tell when tantrums are coming. Your child may seem moody, cranky, or difficult. He may start to whine and whimper. It may seem as if nothing will make him happy. Finally, he may start to cry, kick, scream, fall to the ground, or hold his breath. Other times, a tantrum may come on suddenly for no obvious reason. When your child has a temper tantrum, the suggestions below can help you both get through it successfully:
- Distract your child by calling his attention to something else, such as a new activity, book, or toy. Sometimes just touching or stroking a child will calm him. You may need to gently restrain or hold your child. Interrupt his behavior with a light comment like, “Did you see what the kitty is doing?” or “I think I heard the doorbell.” Humor or something as simple as a funny face can also help.
- Try to remain calm. If you shout or become angry, it is likely to make things worse. Remember, the more attention you give this behavior, the more likely it is to happen again.
- Minor displays of anger such as crying, screaming, or kicking can usually be ignored. Stand nearby or hold your child without talking until he calms down. This shows your support. If you cannot stay calm, leave the room.
- Some temper tantrums cannot be ignored. The following behaviors should not be ignored and are not acceptable:
o Hitting or kicking parents or others
o Throwing things in a dangerous way
o Prolonged screaming or yelling
Use a cooling-off period or a “time-out” to remove your child from the source of his anger. Take your child away from the situation and hold him or give him some time alone to calm down and regain control. For children old enough to understand, a good rule of thumb for a time-out is 1 minute of time for every year of your child’s age. (For example, a 4-year old would get a 4-minute time-out.) But even 15 seconds will work. If you cannot stay calm, leave the room. Wait a minute or two, or until his crying stops, before returning. Then help him get interested in something else. If your child is old enough, talk about what happened and discuss other ways to deal with it next time.
More information can be found at the below website :-
http://pediatrics.about.com/od/tempertantrums/Temper_Tantrums.htm
That is very good information. Thank you. You know, it’s funny, my 10 month old already has temper tantrums when he doesn’t get his way. He has never been around other children, so I have no idea where he could have learned it. I’m just hoping that he will not be too much of a handful when he is 2!
I find positive reinforcement helps a lot. For example, if there is even a tiny moment when Felicity stops crying, we would praise her for being such a wonderful girl for not crying, saying she is so clever, etc. etc. Eg., “oh wow! Look, Mommy! Felicity has stopped crying! She’s a big girl now!!”
Same applies to any ‘terrible’ behavior. The second you get anything resembling good behavior, pounce on that and praise it to encourage more of that. We find it works much better than threats and punishments.
My 2 cents! 