Our DS has started to have temper tantrums, I need advise. I taught him sign languauge to try to lesson tantrums but he refuses to sign what he wants at times (maybe he doesn’t know what he wants) or has a fit if I refuse his request or try to redirect his attention. For example he wants a cracker instead of dinner, wants to go outside at night, doesn’t want to have a bath etc… Asking him where he hurts when he whines used to work but he doesn’t fall for that anymore. Any suggestions or just wait and this too shall pass?
Mine started throughing temper tantrums around 13 months old. I used advice from the book “Happiest Toddler on the Block” and things seem to be improving for now.
As is described in the book, you should always let a child who has lost his temper know that you understand why he is upset and that you “feel” for him. What I would do for instance when my little one cries for my cell phone, I say “you want that, you want that, cell phone, cell phone” with almost the same intencity as he is crying for it, then whe he gives me a short break of silence when he realises I UNDERSTAND what he wants, then only do I say “but nooo, nooo sorry Will, you can’t get my cell phone, mommy’s cell phone.” He usually still wines for a bit but it’s then easy to distract him, or sometimes he just settles down by himself after a bit of fussing.
Something else is, I tell myself that he is suppose to cry, he is learning how to calm himself. That helps me stay calm, prevents me from thinking he’s being naughty and so I can help him calm down by comforting or distracting him. (The book “Science of Parenting” say that; parents who always help their children calm down when they have outbursts, have children who learn to calm themselves down earlier.)
I know my kid is even younger than yours, but I’m just sharing my thoughts while you wait for the more experienced mommies to post something for you. Personally, I’m having some trouble staying calm, especially at bed time, I’ll be following this topic to see what everyone says.