Many mum’s I know think I am too pushy with my daughter. She started Suzuki Violin just before she turned 3 and a term and a half later she just took part in a concert with her fellow students - nothing major just Twinkle A on E (though she has progressed past that we wanted her to play something she would find easier). BUT she absolutely loved it. I have no musical ability and wanted her to at least have the CHOICE to pursue it as she grows. She looked nervous to perform but after just wanted to do it again. SHe sat quitely throught an hour and a half of piano and violin recitals because she loves hearing people play. Lots of children performed, she was the youngest. One much older boy played a fast piece (Israeli concertino) - the next day when we did violin practice she said she wanted to play like the big boy and I did not know what she meant, but told her to give it a go. She “played” a few seconds the rhythm of it so correctly that I knew exactly who she meant. I was amazed. (she is not even using her fingers on the violin string yet, but its like what she cannot yet do physically is holding her back from what she can do in her head - if that makes sense). At the end of our practice time at home I now let her just make random sounds with the violin because she was begging me to play freely. I thought it would be detrimental as I am someone who tries to follow structure (and it kind of hurts my ears!) but how can i discourage her natural desire to try to make music even if she does not have the technical ability. This will come with practice after all.
Like I said I have no ear for music. I did not grow up around it and cannot even tell the difference between notes. I do not have any love for any kind of music really, but we listen to classical music most days since she was born and now she tells me how pieces of music make her feel and asks what they are about. This is not something I encouraged but something she just gets, she naturally understands that music conveys different things. I have no idea about most of the pieces but try to look up and give her information about them now. It is such a wonderful journey for me. I just wanted to share this here as it can be difficult to tell people about these things as the mum’s I know can get defensive or critical and talk about her enjoying her childhood or learning through play as if violin lessons are not play and fun to her (most of the time!).
Your daughter sounds great! It sound like you are doing good job in encouraging your daughter in her interests and it will be an great asset for her to know what kind of practicing it takes to learn a new skill.
When you think about it, playing violin is not that much different to start practicing swimming, football or ice hockey at young age and most parents are fine with those hobbies. :yes: Maybe they just haven’t heard of such thing before to be able to fully evaluate what it means. After all after using 1 hour a day for violin lessons, you still have 23 hours left for free playing too! It is all about cultural norms and you need to do what is right for your family regardless of those norms. You must do (as you are doing!) what is right for your family because you are the only person able to evaluate that. Anyway, you are doing great supporting her interests and giving her possibilities to perform with other children. Karma to you!
We have also been planning to start some instrument after finishing second curriculum in Little Musician but this is so far ahead I haven’t planned it that well yet.
Thank you.
You make a really good point:
“When you think about it, playing violin is not that much different to start practicing swimming, football or ice hockey at young age and most parents are fine with those hobbies.”
very true. We do a few out of the house activities but none she would be happy to miss (gymnastics, violin, French, ballet…) this seems to freak ppl out! I chose to be a stay home mum and but I am just not a stay indoors person and she is really active and interested so why not. We like being busy and I treasure the chats we have on the way to and from these things. Every family is different as you say,. We do what works for us.
I bet, if you would take a week and stay home with your daughter without any hobbies, you would end up being unhappy and miserable!
My husband is exactly the same. He is already worried whether our baby is going to suffer on summer when I am going back to work and he is staying home with him. He is wondering if it is going to slow down our baby’s progress as no one is going to be doing Encyclopedic knowledge or Little Reader with our baby. To me it is most important that my husband does what ever he enjoys most. It couldn’t be good for anyone for him trying to do something he doesn’t buy into. I would prefer seing them doing some guy stuff outdoors what ever might that be than trying to imitate some imaginary optimal behavior. Everyone knows in their heart what is best place for them. lol
