Create little morning moments
Snuggle and cuddle
Make up special stories
Ask for help
Break the rules
Have fun at bedtime
Get silly
Use your words
And just pay attention to the little things
With our busy lives full of errands, work, appointments, and social events, it can sometimes feel like we need to make grand gestures to let our kids know they’re loved and special.
But what makes your children feel special might surprise you. You don’t need to spend $10,000 on a birthday party or a deluxe trip to Disneyland. You don’t need to buy a Barbie Mustang or a tree house or let them have ice cream every night.
In fact, making your child feel special is very simple, according to Leigh Leverrier, a family life coach in the Washington, D.C., area, who says, “Children feel special when they are respected, noticed, listened to, and heard.”
This can be as straightforward as hearing “what your child says and mirroring back what you hear to acknowledge his or her thoughts,” Leverrier adds.
Doris Jeanette, a licensed psychologist in Philadelphia, says: “It’s not the activities, but the energy behind the activities that makes a child feel loved.”
In other words, making your child feel special is as simple as paying attention. Cuddling, play wrestling, and bragging about your kid works, too.
Here are some simple, inexpensive (or free!), and ultimately very meaningful ways to make your child feel special.
Create little morning moments
“The morning sets the tone,” says Bob Lancer, author of Parenting With Love, Without Anger or Stress. “If there’s strife, rushing, or power struggles in the morning, you have a child who feels less important than other elements of the parent’s agenda.”
Instead of giving in to morning impatience, Vanessa Pizzinato of Ontario, Canada, takes a few minutes with her 5-year-old every morning to gently walk her fingers over his legs and feet to wake him up. If that doesn’t work, then she takes his feet, puts one up to her ear and the other in front of her mouth, and talks to his tummy and head “to find out when they think he will wake up.”
Cara Mirabella, who runs TheHouseholdHelper, spends a little quality time each morning with her 2-year-old by having coffee together. (His “coffee” is milk.) “We watch Sesame Street, the two of us cuddling on the couch, enjoying our coffee,” she says.
After taking five minutes for yourself “to enjoy the quiet of the morning before the stampede begins,” says Patty Wipfler, founder of Hand in Hand Parenting, spend ten minutes with your child before anybody has to rush anywhere.
“First thing in the morning can be a wonderfully effective time to connect with children, especially when they’re going to school and won’t get to see you all day,” she says.