I need HELP! My 6 month old son is starting to experience separation anxiety. No matter where i go, i must carry him around. If i leave him alone, he will start to cry (even though i am in a near distance) He simply want me to carry him no matter what. If he plays, i have to sit down with him…I cant have my own time and do my chores. 
Any advice to help my baby through it?
hi there
i wish i could give you an easy solution but i dont have any.
babies start to show true feelings of anxiety and fear from 6-8 months. it is normal that your baby will find his first feeling of anxiety amongst strangers which is why he wants you. try handling your babies emotions by distracting him.
also sticking to his routine will help him feel secure as his day is predictable especially the events leading to bedtime.
with lots of love your baby will soon pass this phase.
try this… go out of site and say his name, and then come out and suprose him… next time try this with a few more seconds… and keep trying it for a few days… this will make him understand that even if you go, you will come back, this will help… and then when u are out of sight for a longer time and he cries, comfort him… but dont pick him up… just comformt him and try to distract him… tell me if this works…
I have tried everything ; he screams when I’m just ABOUT to put him down. He hates it when I just walk away from him for a second, even if I’m a few feet away from him. I have no clue what to do. i talk to him from the kitchen but that never seems to calm him…there have been days where i’ve lived on biscuits and water (or without food)that’s all i could grab and get back to him quickly… i think that he simply craves social interaction. I know he will outgrown it after some stage but i cant stand it now as i have to carry him all day…oh… play music in the background also doesnt help…he can play himself for a few minutes, but i must be with him. IF he catches me leaving…he will start to cry…Also tried leaving him to cry…BUT he can be tought too, he will cry until i have no choice but to give him as it simply hurt my heart to hear him crying for so long
Unfortunately this is a stage that babies go through, sometimes more than once, and if you have a clingy, needy baby already, then it makes it that much worse. I know I have read some tips in a book or magazine, so I’ll have to look them up for you. But there probably isn’t much you can do other than just let him cry sometimes. Him crying will hurt you more than it will him.
Here is something I pulled from a book. I don’t know whether it will help or not.
Our son had seperation anxiety really bad at 4 months… he is currently 2 years of age and still has seperation anxiety at times usually at night when its time for him to sleep… I can say it does get better. I couldnt even leave him with my husband… this is what we did and I think it helped.
I slinged him… I wore a sling and walked around doing my chores with him attached… I think he got annoyed after a while to being confined but still felt close to me… and then eventually wanted to be put down more and more… Some days when he needed me it was more… but I think its natural for babies to want to be close and at the same time not want to be confined… so by sling carring… or wrapping it helps them want independance.
gals, thanks for your advice. Hopefully he will outgrow this stage early. As for the sling, i have thought of it also, but as our country experience summer all year round, it can be very hot for both of us. The heat will definately add stress to me if i were to carry him to do my chores.I am trying the hard way where i am planning to leave him to cry. (He crys in his walker even when i am beside him)
My baby also have separation anxiety when she was around 7 months. Same as you that my baby won’t let me to leave her even 2 mins and even my hubby can’t settle her as well. i have to hold her all day long, and have to leave all the housework to my hubby to finish. This have last for around 3 weeks and the changing point start when my hubby’s grandpa get serious sick and pass away in 2 weeks time. Coz during that time we have brought my baby to visit grandpa every 2-3 days (hospital is not a good place to go with baby,they will get sick easily). My baby start to saw more people beside our family member (stranger like family friends, doctor and nurse). She take around a week time and she don’t have the “separation anxitey” problem. Since then she become a “outgoing” baby even i can leave her to a people who she never meet before. I think you can try to let your baby see more people (other babies about same age or toddler even better).
Good luck to you 
sorry forget to mention that bring her out the the park or shopping mall is a good way for both you and the baby as well. Or you can find a playgroup that you baby can have fun during the lesson and also can have a change to make friend with the other babies :biggrin:
my baby has already been to the shopping malls and parks when he turned one month old. As i have postnal depression during that period, i cant stay at home for a long time alone with my baby. My husband make it a point to bring us out everyday (even if its only an hour) and yes, throughout those months, he had seen and been carried by strangers, relatives
ohh…just to update… He is getting better now, allowing me to put him down for at least 10 min before he crys. Prior putting him down, i talk to him and let him know that he is going to be put on a walker.I sort of exchanging them between cot,playing saucer,dinning chair,floor, so that he is not bored staying at a place for a long time. But i must be around with him. 
In the kitchen, i have to let him sit (with help of bumbo) at the counter to watch me do my chores…
its interesting that you mentioned the depression… I think that babies can sense depression in a mother and sometimes have a delayed reaction… I think its your sons way of telling you he loves you and wants you close by.
Hugs. Glad to hear your working it out…
mandiq
Oh yeah. Babies pick up on your mood, so if you are depressed, then that can definitely be why he is so clingy and needy. Try to do some of the things that everyone mentioned on the other thread, and I’m sure both of your moods will improve!
learn alot about these problems from this site. Never thought them as an issue as my wife has been taking care of the children…salute to all mothers!!
What I have read is that its important to reassure the baby. For instance if your leaving out of the room let the baby know your leaving and you will be right back and then return.
Separation anxiety
Wasn’t it delicious when your infant preferred you to anyone else on the planet? Now that your child is bigger, though, and he falls apart whenever you head to the bathroom without him, his attachment seems downright obsessive. Hang in there. He’s experiencing separation anxiety, a developmental phase that nearly all children go through (sometimes more than once) during their early years. And, thankfully, it isn’t permanent.
Why separation anxiety happens
At around 6 months, your baby begins to realize that you and he are separate, which means that you could leave him. He’s also capable of “representational thinking” now, which means that he can picture objects (like you) in his mind after they’re no longer visible. In other words, out of sight no longer means out of mind. (This is one reason why he suddenly gets such a kick out of “peekaboo.”) As your child grows into toddlerhood, he’s developing a strong drive for independence, but he still needs your undying support. All this can lead to a fear that you’ve abandoned him whenever you’re not there.
It’s unclear why some kids pass through this phase with barely a whimper while other children become consumed by it. Whatever the reason or intensity, you’ll be happy to know that your toddler will outgrow this phase. When? Well, that’s a tricky one. Separation anxiety tends to wax and wane throughout the toddler years. But most experts agree that the period of extreme neediness usually passes between 18 months and 2 1/2 years. By age 3 he should be fully out of it. In the meantime, here are some tips and tricks for making departures go a little smoother.
What to do
Wave bye-bye when you leave.
It’s a simple tactic but one that many parents ignore. Instead, fearing the wrath of their toddler, they try to sneak out of the house while he’s otherwise engaged. Big mistake. This approach may save you the pain of watching your child cry, but it can actually make his separation anxiety more severe. If your child thinks you might disappear at any given moment without notice, he’s not going to let you out of his sight. This also goes for nighttime departures. Some parents try to avoid the whole ordeal by putting their child down for the night before the babysitter arrives. That’s all well and good — if he doesn’t wake up. But suppose he does. You don’t want him surprised — and possibly terrified — to wake up and find you gone.
Help your child look ahead.
Although your child’s ability to communicate is still hindered by his limited vocabulary, he understands much more than he can say. So prepare him for your departure by talking about the event ahead of time. Make sure your child knows where you are going and when you’ll be back. You may also want to give him details, such as who will be watching him and what sort of activities he can look forward to doing. To that end, it’s also important to talk about your child’s sitter with great enthusiasm. Your child looks to you for reassurance, and if you say things like “I think Bella is so much fun, don’t you?” he’ll be inclined to agree. To gauge how much of your conversation he’s absorbing, follow up with simple questions like “Where are Mommy and Daddy going?” or “Who’s going to watch Kenny while Mommy and Daddy go to dinner?”
Look on the sunny side.
Separation anxiety isn’t merely a toddler thing — you may not be thrilled by the prospect of leaving either. But if you let your apprehension show, your child’s almost certain to pick up on it. Besides, a dramatic farewell will just validate your child’s feelings of insecurity. So try to stay calm and positive — even if he’s hysterical. Talk to him evenly and reassure him that you’ll be back soon. To keep the situation light, try adopting a silly parting phrase such as “See you later, alligator” or your own made-up alternative. Getting your child in the habit of responding with “After a while, crocodile” will also help serve as a distraction.
Try a transitional object.
Having a reminder of Mom or Dad may help your toddler cope in your absence, so when you go out, leave him with a personal memento. It can be just about anything — a photograph, an old sweater of yours, or a special pin for him to wear. It’s possible that the token might have the opposite effect, though, by serving as a constant reminder. So check with the babysitter to see if your child seemed agitated by it. A security object — a blanket, a stuffed animal, or even his very own thumb — can also be a source of solace.
Play “name that feeling.”
A true understanding of emotions is still years away for your toddler, but he can learn to put simple labels on his feelings. When your child starts to panic, tell him: “I know that you’re sad that Mommy’s leaving. What you’re feeling is called ‘missing.’ When Mommy leaves she has those ‘missing’ feelings too.” “Sometimes all a child needs is a way to express his fears,” says child psychologist Donald Freidheim, director of the Schubert Center for Early Childhood Development in Cleveland, Ohio. “Teaching him a name for what he’s feeling helps defuse the anxiety.”
Set up gradual transitions.
If you’re leaving your child for an evening out, ask the babysitter to arrive a half hour ahead of time. This gives the two of them time to get acquainted while you act as a calming presence. If you’re starting with a new long-term childcare provider, you may want take a day or two off work — or see whether the sitter can come on the weekend — and do a few activities as a threesome. Whenever your child seems happily engaged with his babysitter, recede into the background. If your child brings you a book to read, for example, redirect him with “Why don’t you see if Mary wants to read that book with you?” Or, if he wants to be picked up, suggest that he let the new caregiver do the honors. Some kids are so clingy, though, that they won’t give a new sitter a chance, as long as Mom (or Dad, whoever is the primary caretaker) is an option. So if possible let the secondary caretaker be the go-between. “It happens at daycare facilities all the time,” says Freidheim. “When Dad drops his toddler off, the child jumps right into the action, but when Mom tries to leave, the same kid dissolves into tears.” For these kids, the transition may go more smoothly if the less-available parent acts as the middleman.
Head out at the same time.
Good-byes are always easier when it’s your child who does the exiting. Instead of you leaving him behind, have the babysitter take him for a quick trip to the park or out for a stroll as you head out the door. Make sure your child understands that you’re going out as well. Otherwise he’ll be doubly upset when he returns to find the house empty.
Involve him in an activity.
Allow your toddler and his caregiver to get engrossed in an activity before you leave. When the time comes for you to go, give your child a quick kiss good-bye and make a beeline for the door. He may still cry, but the activity can serve as a distraction soon after your departure.
Let him learn to cope.
No parent wants her child to feel any unnecessary sadness, but coping with separation is one of the many stresses your child will have to learn to manage in life. Sometimes doing nothing — especially if you’ve already tried everything — is the best advice. “Learning to cope is an important developmental task,” says Freidheim. “Your child has to learn that there are times when he’s going to be unhappy.” If your child’s clinging is so severe that you can’t even cross the room without a protest, for example, you may be making the situation worse by constantly caving to his demands. If you know that he’s safe, it’s okay to let him cry a bit. In a matter-of-fact voice, reassure him that’s everything’s okay, then go ahead and do whatever it is you need to do — without feeling guilty.
Strap on a baby carrier and wear him down (as Dr. Sears terms it). I use the Baby K’tan or the Ergo Baby Carrier. Both provide great back support. I have worn my daugther, now 20 months from birth, and it has proven to be so valuable. She completely chills when worn (facing my chest). I can even nurse in it!
I would say there is a difference between babies who do want to be carried all the time and those who start worrying when mum leaves the room.
I carry my daughter a lot and when she started to whinge when I was putting her down (at about 6 months), i decided that the best solution was for her to be entertained & learn how to entertain herself. So I tried a lot of things!
What I now do is whichever room I am in, she is with me, but I insist that she plays by herself first and then, when she’s being nice playing on her own for a while, I will pick her up, show her what I’m doing, get her to participate and then get on the floor with her to play.
I do not want to fall into the pattern of picking her up whenever she starts crying. When she does cry, I go to her level, talk to her, get her to stop crying, and only then I lift her up.
I hope I don’t sound too harsh…
I am very lucky as my daughter never really went through a really got bad anxiety and still doesnt.
I was told in the hospital and read lots of books that state that picking your child up quickly when they cry as infants, the less they will cry when they are older.
I believe this to be true. I NEVER let my daughter cry when she was younger, or atleast not for very long (depending how long it took to get to her) and now she doesnt cry much at all. Is a very confident little girl who can leave me at playgroups etc…quite comfortably to explore. Only coming back when she is tired or gets hurt.
On the contrary, I have a friend who has put her child to bed, as an infant, at a certain time, then told him that she would not be opening the door until morning. She slept with ear muffs on while her child screamed himself to sleep (this method of getting your child to sleep was recommended by a so called expert). In the morning she would get him out of bed at the time that she said and no sooner. This went on until he learned that no one would come if he cried and he had to look after himself.
At playgroup (and home) this child was clingy and nervous, never wanting to let his mother out of his sight…he would run (or crawl) screaming if she disappeared for a second.
I believe that a good way to limit separation anxiety (although babies will almost always cry when left with someone other than the main carer) is to provide your child with a loving, stable home. Be very responsive when your child is an infant. Try to understand any signals they are giving you before they get to the crying stage (eg mouthing fingers etc…when hungry) and respond to them.
But when they get a bit older it is important to recognise if the cry is an ‘I need you cry’ or if it is just attention seeking lol there is a difference. 
I know many will disagree with me but I am just stating my opinion and experiences in the hope it may help someone.