I’m so pleased that it’s been a nice (reminder) post for the forum. I had the wonderful opportunity to read their book, and I will share what I got out of it. Of course, I haven’t read through the threads that Tamsyn and nee1 shared, but I have no doubt that I will get a massive amount from those threads too.
In short, though, yes, this family is more easy-going, it seems, than Swann’s. They are not ‘early learners’ as I think so many of us are on the board, but they are more ‘accelerated’ learners. Here’s what I mean: they don’t really start school (math, reading, etc) until the child turns four. It used to not be until the child turned 6 (reading, but number appreciation about four), however, they had three daughters spaced about two years apart, enrolled in the free private christian school until the girls were about 8, 6, and 4. That’s when she found the courage to homeschool, using workbooks. When her fourth child was four, the older girls, “playing school”, had already taught him his numbers and how to read - the mother didn’t even know until he started doing it in front of her. So, it wasn’t too long before the expectation of each of the subsequent children was to read and comprehend numbers by age four. Remember, the older girls didn’t get this. What everyone did get was a ‘strict’ adherence to the writing rule. The children must write (starting at age four) each and every day. What they write is not so much the issue. But they must write. The youngest will simply grab their favorite readers and practice writing their favorite (self-elected) words, sentences, stories, etc. The children may write letters, rewrite and/or reword favorite passages from the Bible or other sources, or even just write in their journals; but children write daily. This was one of the two major things that I picked up from their story.
I also got the impression that the family is very humble and candid about their experience and themselves. They lived in California when their oldest had gotten to a rather advanced level of math. Taking classes at the local community college was simply a matter of passing the cali high school proficiency test, and being a hs sophomore, which she could claim, thanks to homeschooling. Their daughter passed, barely, but she passed. And here is where I picked up the second major point: perseverance. The point was even brought up that had they attended school, they may have fallen under the ‘perfectionist’ mentality, which may not tolerate ‘failure’. However, their children simply brushed off ‘failings’, reassessed and problem-solved to remove the ‘obstacle’.
They shared their children’s (and as parents, their own) failures. For example, one child didn’t pass one of the tests to get into the community college, however, went back, studied, and passed it the next time. Was the score mindblowing? No! But it was good enough to get college credits accrued. They emphasized that their children received A’s because they worked hard, not because they were geniuses, but that they also picked up B’s and even C’s (the initial result of discouraging their son’s inspired path concerning where to go to college - he wanted to move states away for his particular program of interest which wasn’t offered locally; they wanted him to remain at home due to his still young and impressionable age). Not only were less-than-ideal grades part of the mix, but so were obstacles in applying to graduate schools and other programs at such a young age - for some, not all (undergrad wasn’t really an issue, mostly following the community college to four year approach).
They were quick to also share that they weren’t genius parents or very well off financially either. They went to high school, graduated, got married, and immediately started their family. The father went into the military and graduated with a bs when he was about 25, I believe. It took him longer to get his masters, but he eventually got that too. What was nice to read was their acknowledgement of tuning into the child’s actual interests and keeping that desire to learn (and therefore be self-motivated) alive. This, I already knew, mostly thanks to all of you. This philosophy didn’t end after preschool, it was and still persists as a parental philosophy for them.
Interestingly, what seems to have triggered this trend was the father being enrolled in a calculus class when the oldest was four. She wanted to play and instead of brushing her off, he involved her in what he was doing … differential equations, if memory serves me correctly. The BOND with her dad and numbers inspired her passion for math and numbers. They continued to nurture that relationship, until they finally felt she should enroll in a community college at age 12. Remember, this is the girl who was finally pulled out of a ‘regular’ school at age 8, where she was considered average.
The result of their approach was a bit tweaked in the video because her children are more eclectic than the video leads one to believe. The eldest daughter is a math person, wanting eventually to be an astronaut, but working with NASA on putting together a spaceship. They also have an architect who married an architect, the youngest military doctor, a son who is studying computer programming although his dream is to be a film director, another who wants to go to julliard, and another who wants to be a military archaeologist (fyi: he hated reading when he was 6). The others aren’t yet decided.
I suppose a third concept that I took from the book was to not fall into the same habits of other adults who discredit children because of their age. I distinctly recalling my passions when I was seven and eight (the time that their children start to identify what they want to pursue in college. This actually works out nicely, because then their mother custom tailors an educational path for them to pursue their ‘high school’ credits so that they can then begin to move closer to this goal through self-motivation). Life took me on different paths, but imagine my ‘ah ha!’ moment when I found out that I came full circle right back to what I loved doing at that age. She listened to her children, guided her children, and encouraged and nurtured her children.
The children’s own inspiration is what fueled their passion, along with the belief that it could be done, and the path with which to do it.
Their routine was nice to know, too. They pretty much get up, do their morning chores, bible study, math, writing, then they read for history and science, afterwards they can read ‘for fun’ … and they have the rest of the day to play and engage as children.
So, aside from the three points discussed above (daily writing, teach perseverance, and value my child’s voice), their story reminded me that a little of anything consistently can go a long way, and also, that I don’t have to stress out too much, so long as I can nurture my children’s inspirations (which I was once told means ‘to be in the spirit’, as in being one with God). Their oldest girls did not receive EL, but they received encouragement and support to their child-led desires. I was feeling a lot of anxiety about not being able to give all of my time to my children since returning to school, however, their story gave me much needed peace and relief. I wholeheartedly believe in EL, however, I’m coming to understand that so long as children are in a loving environment that encourages learning, with access to resources, and a belief that they can succeed … then they will. After all, think of all the amazing people who came to be who weren’t ‘reading/math/music’ el’s.
YES, so many notables were EL’s on the ‘hush hush’, including Oprah, who was reading before age 3, but there still exist quite a few who weren’t and still made a wonderful mark. I think that true benefit of EL has and will continue to be seen by children who aren’t necessarily in the most encouraging environment. Through early reading, or music, or even being able to dive into numbers, they are able to transport themselves to a world that is less chaotic, guiding them, ideally, to a light at the end of the tunnel, even if they feel awkward at not connecting to their peers along the process. Thanks to the internet, it seems as though children can find their ‘circles’ so much more easily than before, though. Like this kid: david dalrymple who graduated from MIT graduate school at age 14. How’d he do it? By age 8 he knew what he wanted and he found his ‘circle’ by constantly emailing with a professor specialized in his field. For the life of me I can’t recall where I read that, but you can google him or check out these links: http://verybestinyouth.nestleusa.com/winners/Bio-Detail.aspx?Winner=282d9ffa-a859-4a08-8452-8f60c1c5666a and http://conferences.ifpri.org/2020conference/program/bios/Dalrymple.asp).
