I am a full time working mum and my daughter is now 21 months. I have been spending a lot of one on one time of my off working hours with her. She has been breast fed since birth till now. As you can tell, she is very attached to me. I’m figuring out when an “ideal” timing would be between kids (if there’s such a thing). I just wonder if there’s any harm in the attention being shared at this age. And do you think as a working mum, would need to compromise on the amount of early education if there is a second child? How long does a child require one on one attention? 3 years old a good guage?
I have read that there is less sibling rivalry when the children are 3 or more years apart. Having 6 children, many who are not 3 years apart, I think there is some truth to that. It all depends on the children. My two oldest are 17 months apart and they get along fabulously.
Scientifically speaking, babies conceived 18 months to 5 years after a previous birth are healthier than those conceived at shorter or longer intervals. I would say if you want your children to get along, space them a year apart, or much more, like Krista said. I think it would be good for your daughter to be old enough to understand about the new baby and be able to help you out with him/her. That would make it an easier transition for her.
Since my personal experience having only one children ,she is 23 months old I am thinking having another child when she turns4 or even 5 years old.
why? I think it will be easy for me, she will help me with the other baby, she will be like big sister , she will teach him/her and while she goes to kindergarten I will have all this time to be able to put all the work I put in Catalina, teaching her some reading, guiding her ,spent time with her(you know only her). I think that is very important. I am doing that with Catalina and I think it will be nice doing the same with the next child.
But that is my personal view.
Our babies will be 18 months apart, it was the same or less in my husband’s family of 6 kids, and it seemed to work really good, as they were really close friends, were able to enjoy activities together, because of the clothness in age.
Also I was asking him a lot about his personal feelings when he was a child, since he had to share attention with a few of his other brothers and a sister, and both he and his other siblings said that they did not feel the lack of attention, as they were included in all the activities, and were able to share interests ( even if some things were somewhat of a review for them, ) Differently from some of the friends from the families with much larger intervals, where some of the older siblings felt that all of a sudden the new baby was their responsibility, and they felt that they did not had the attention and time they needed anymore. Of course in all cases, things can be corrected with lots of love, wisdom, communication and prayer.
By the way, all the children (6, with year apart between them and a set of twins!) in my husband’s family were homeschooled, achieved quite unprecedented skills in performing and music (did TV performing in Asia for most of their childhood years, alongside with national celebrities), and they are ones of the most healthiest folks I know around (My husband never needed to have dental work till his wisdom tooth, :), his brother is prominent triathlete now, etc ).
So, while I think it is personal decision, and in many ways it is also in God’s hands, I just wanted to share our personal family experience and to encourage you that if that is the way you would deside to go, it could be a positive experience to have your children pretty close together, and there are plenty of benefits. And you should not worry of sharing attention, you will have enough for everyone, and children benefit from their time with each others as well
I agree with Skylark,
Also depends a lot on the families, the parents , time,organization,education,attention,dedication…etc. If parents decide to have more kids in close age and they are prepare for that it will work just fine for them.
Everybody has different experiences and thoughts about raising kids.
In my husband’s family are 6 kids as well and they are not really close each other, all of them live in different states, and they don’t have lots of comunication, some of them haven’t seen each other for more than 6 years which I think is incredible.
I have just one brother and he lives in another country , I travel to see him at least once a year. we are really close each other.
I think is just how you raise your kids,what kind of education you give the. That is it!
) Differently from some of the friends from the families with much larger intervals, where some of the older siblings felt that all of a sudden the new baby was their responsibility, and they felt that they did not had the attention and time they needed anymore. Of course in all cases, things can be corrected with lots of love, wisdom, communication and prayer.