I just need some validation that I am not crazy to have agreed to having my mother-in-law come and live with us. I agreed to it without any coersion from my husband or her, and I’m actually kind of excited about it. None of my friends can believe that is true.
She dropped the bomb on us about 6 weeks ago that she is divorcing her husband of 28 years, my husband’s step-father. We had literally signed a contract the day before to sell our house (moving within same area to get bigger yard, better school district) and were searching for our new house. I have a great relationship with her, feel close to her like a friend, and she is wonderful with our 3-yr-old DS. She is very respectful of our space, etc. Regardless, we knew we would need a house with a separate area for her if she was going to come live with us, so we adjusted our house search and she will also be paying us rent (equivalent of what she would be spending for a 2 BR apartment) so it allowed us to feel comfortable searching a little above what we had previously set as our maximum price. We found a great house, but it does not actually have a separate in-law apartment. She will have 2 rooms (BR and sitting room) on a separate level from our and DS’s bedrooms, but not separate laundry or kitchen, or separate entrance. She still works (though mostly from home) and is perfectly capable of living on her own and can afford it, just doesn’t want to live alone. And I have to admit I am actually excited that she will be with us and our son can have that kind of close relationship and I will also have more flexibility to increase my hours at work sooner than I was planning.
I am just a little worried that my current very good relationship with my MIL will deteriorate, or worse, that it will possibly affect my relationship with my husband. Also my own mother is pretty critical about our decision to do this, and is kind of implying that my husband must have forced it on me (my dad died about a year ago and I basically asked her when we started looking at new homes, should we look at places with in-law suites and she said no – but I wonder if there is a little jealousy there). There’s plenty on the internet about horrible experiences living with your in-laws. I would really like to hear some good experiences so I know that it is possible!