Let the Early Learning Begin!

After a toilsome labor (36 hours), we have our newest BrillKids early learner!

He’s now about 17 hours old and is learning how to nurse among other things. He has strong neck muscles and is ready for tummy time already! But that’s only a sideshow.

In our limited time together, I’ve worked his grasp reflex quite a lot, and he’s getting better at trying to grab to put in his mouth. He’s still working on it, but can now actually hit his mouth instead of missing by a mile.
Perhaps the most significant thing is that he wasn’t vocalizing except to cry. So while we were playing and enjoying the quiet time, I worked on two vowel sounds (one more than the other, and the second one to provide some contrast)… after about 10 minutes of this, he repeated my vowel sounds on three separate occasions.

My wife witnessed this… not sure yet if she’s a believer, but it’s hard to deny when he learns a vocalization from Daddy within hours of being born.

Let the early learning begin!!!
:biggrin:

PS - still at the hospital for two more days when the real fun (real life) begins… will keep you posted

Huge, huge, huge congratulations on the birth of your baby boy!!! I’m sure you must be very happy.

Great to hear that at 17 hours old, the early learning journey has already begun. And very impressive to hear that he’s repeating vowel sounds already!!! With a father as committed as you are, that little guy is covered for life.

Congratulations once again. My best regards to your wife and the little boy. Congratulations once again!

Hooray!
Huge congrats to both Mommy and Daddy! (okay, after 36 hours of labor maybe mom deserves a bit more of the congratulating :yes: )
Can’t wait to hear more updates…

Congratulations! Welcome to a new phase of your life!

Congratulations!

Congrats! We usually read early learning stories about babies and toddlers here on the forum but never about a 17 hours old newborn :clown: Thanks for sharing, that’s truly inspiring! I can’t wait to read more about his progress the coming days :wink:

Only by reading the subject line on my Google reader I thought "this must be poker dad who finally joined the ranks of “the out of breath running around in order to do it all” parents ;-)) Welcome to the club and looking forward to reading your updates on how you and your family are doing! Congratulations and wishing your wife a quick recovery!

Great to hear that everything is ok with your wife and little boy :slight_smile: . Congratulations to all of you. I am sure we all be reading your teaching- learning updates as not everyone had luck knowing all the amazing things about EL before their baby was born as you .
Have a great time together little family :slight_smile:

Amazing news PokerDad - congratulations to you and your wife!

Well done on getting started. You’ll have to post EVERY SINGLE thing you do with your little boy so I can copy you (hopefully my baby will arrive over the coming two weeks). I’m delighted to hear the progress with vowel sounds. Have you read ‘The Social Baby’? Some lovely ideas in there on stimulating development and noticing all the social initiatives of babies.

Congratulations!!!

Wooooooohoooooooo, buckle up son, you are in for the ride of your life!
Big virtual Hugs for your baby ( does he have a cyber name yet? Pokerbub? lol ) and special congratulations to you and your wife ( wow that’s a long labour, I hope you were extra attentive to her and remembered the flowers/jewelry!) sounds like you are off to a great start with a nice strong healthy boy! Yay!

Thank you all for your love, support, and encouragement!!

We just got back from the hospital, and let me tell you - the final 11 minutes of labor were the most valuable of all. The reason? He was born at 12:10am, and this put his birth on the next day, which earned us an additional night! The birthday is the official start time and they gave us 2 nights. This turned out to be quite fortuitous. As great as we were doing on the first day, we were doing almost that poorly on the second day. He went from easy going to difficult to please literally overnight. The second day, I watched in horror as we were using a pacifier to sooth him. Except, it wasn’t simple soothing (which I would have still not liked), it was every minute he wasn’t feeding. As a result, I spent maybe 5 minutes working with him and he did vocalize a new vowel sound at what seemed to be my insistence (but I’m far less sure my introducing this sound is what “caused” him to vocalize it)… so now he’s said the short a and long o. Short a is easy IMO since it’s similar to an infant scream (but when he did short a for me, he was just mimicking me and NOT screaming).

After a full day of wondering what happened to him (why his huge change in personality and being reduced to a crutch), we learned exactly what had happened. … turns out that we can “feed” him for an hour and yet, he’s massively undernourished!! (he lost something like 5% in his second day alone, normal is to lose 10% the entire first week!) So, we became a statistic of parents that plan on breastfeeding exclusively and “fail” - but, we’re using a hybrid method until her milk gets in.

Early learning goes both ways. We had to adjust our plans and adjust what our expectations and our strategies based on how he’s doing. Also, we learned that he’s tongue tied, and we did not know this until the second day. Tomorrow we’ll look into getting that fixed - no sense in trying to suffer through an obstacle when the remedy is easy and innocuous.

I’m confident at this point that if you give a baby something do-able, they will surprise you. I’m pretty sure I was the only parent in the entire hospital trying to figure out what “learning” activity I could do with a newborn. That’s not to pat myself on the back or anything, but to point out that the “average” and norms that get thrown at parents doing early learning simply will NOT apply. The norm is to do literally NOTHING or to educate by luck… and some parents are more lucky than others :wink:

Anyway, thank you all again. We have a long road ahead and it won’t be easy… will be frustrating in ways that I never imagined, but my opinion this whole preparation time is that if I have something to focus on, at least it’s better than navigating by chance. I’m confident it will be worth it.

seastar… will do my best. I might start up a blog to track the activities. I can tell you what I’ve done so far…
when he’s alert (usually AFTER a feeding) I’ll sit with him face to face; my legs up on the seat, knees at 90degrees, and have him using my legs as a recliner. Since he’s alert and facing me, I can then do two things… I take a finger, maybe the same exact one, or one from each of my hands or two fingers from one hand, and try to get him to grip my finger. It’s good for him to grip and hold on; it’s reflexive, but the stimulation helps him develop (this according to Doman and according to Dr. Jones, so I’m confident it will help brain development some).
Then, while he’s hopefully holding on, I pick maybe two vowel sounds (far easier to start with vowels IMO) and repeat one of them several times with slightly different cadence/emphasis/emotional intonation. Then, after a few repeats, I’ll throw in a second vowel sound for contrast… and then I don’t have a method or anything, but sort of randomly toggle between the two sounds, spending more time on the one I think he’s more likely to say. I space my vocalizations by maybe 2 or 3 seconds - and certainly less than 5 seconds. I have to make it easy for his memory to remember it (pretty sure his memory is super short and by say 10 seconds he’s forgotten) - in other words, his audio working memory is very short, so short gaps between vocalizations, but having a gap is important as it gives him a chance to think about it and try.
Another thing I started doing today is saying a vowel sound that he seems to be trying to form with his mouth - but not sure if this will work or not.

That’s pretty much it for now. I’m going to start high contrast cards hopefully tonight, and then introduce a crawling track by the end of the week I hope.
And if baby is not happy, there’s no way he’s going to care about YOUR vocalizations unless you’re shushing and doing the 5 s’ss or something.
Now, when we feed, I did start doing something that’s not necessary and is more of a long term idea - we were encouraged to stimulate him by rubbing a body part when he starts to get lazy or sleepy while feeding (isn’t really sucking, but just sitting there for more than 4 or 5 seconds doing nothing)… so instead of just rubbing his foot, shoulder, chin, etc… I add in the NAME of the body part I’m rubbing. Keep it simple, singular, no verbs such as “I’m touching your tummy”… instead just “tummy” while I rub his tummy or what have you.

Of course, he has no real chance of understanding this yet… but my thought is that if I keep this up for 3 or 4 months, it will equal countless thousands of repetitions and he just might get the idea that SOUNDS can represent something in particular and vice versa. By sheer Pavlovian conditioning he should pick this up after enough repetitions, no? Will continue to do this (I see no reason not to, other than other people thinking I’m weird) - and will report if I think it’s helpful or not.

That’s what you think! haha lol I am so excited for you and your wife, I think everyone on the forum was greatly anticipating the birth of this baby!! Definitely check out http://www.brillbaby.com/after-birth/your-babys-first-massage.php and “train” him early to lie still for baby massage, it is so beneficial for overall brain and body development. I think what you have done so far is fantastic, I’m kind of jealous and now I have to live vicariously through you, we want to hear everything!! (Not to have another baby, but to be able to begin an early learning program 1 day out of the womb LOL)

And what’s your diaper change routine? Counting & patting? ABC’s? Infant stimulation cards? Perfect Pitch training? (you can use a laptop/LMs or a piano if you have one. Let me know if you’d like some ideas on this).

Best of luck and no pressure at all, enjoy the journey, but we would love to hear more when you feel like sharing. Enjoy that BABY!!! :biggrin:

congrats Pokerdad and family. welcome to the wondeful world of parent hood and early learning. Look forward to all the updates of bubs and your very own journey into early learning.

Kimba

Congratulations!!!

I am so excited for you and your family!!! Your wife and son are blessed to have you. You have done soooo much research and your plans will influence your son’s cognitive and physical growth.

I am looking forward to hearing about your son’s progress :slight_smile:

Congrats! Sounds like you are enjoying your baby a lot and yup - in a few weeks your baby will be sick of just “tummy” and you’ll have to start with full sentences :slight_smile: How is your wife doing? I’m sure you are looking forward to getting your baby home.

So far this has been a bit of a roller coaster, and I haven’t been feeling as though I’m doing my best - but perhaps I should cut myself a break? Okay, so long story…
My OP was made about 17 hours or so after [PokerBaby haha] was born, and I was just stunned at what he could do. There are systems in the human body that aren’t even switched on in the baby until birth, so I couldn’t help but feel optimistic. Then the second day happened. He was either trying to eat, crying, or sucking on a pacifier. I got him to vocalize one time only, so we went from three to one. Then third day into the fourth day was the worst because both of us had to participate in the feeding and it was non-stop feeding and trying to get him to sleep. Since mommy is more important, it was my duty to keep an eye on him during sleep since he would only stay down for minutes at a time (or so it seemed). Early learning really hit the skids.

BUT

Yesterday we spent an entire day between two doctor visits. PokerBaby developed full blown jaundice AFTER leaving the hospital 60 hours into life + wasn’t getting the nutrition, sleep, or other necessities to flourish. Yesterday the doctors [finally] started helping. Before we were home from our second appointment yesterday, the health supply truck was in front of my door… funny because my next door neighbor has them visit every friday and so he thought they were there to supply more oxygen, but I digress… we retrofitted an old 30 year old hand crafted crib into something that reminiscent of the movie Tron. PokerBaby hates it, but we’ve finally gotten into a rhythm in feeding and sleeping in his bilibed and biliblanket. The key was for him to figure out that I’ll give him a bottle(!) once he’s tucked into this thing… and then I have to sit there for an hour making sure to wipe up any spit up (I can’t burp him with this set up).

I’ve learned a few things… 1. kids 4 days old can understand “bribery”… or at least tolerating if they’re under the impression there will be treat at the end of it… 2. kids 4 days old do not need very many oral repetitions to develop a Pavlovian response as I hypothesized in my prior update. For instance, I’ve noticed that he’s willing to delay his crying by a few seconds or drop his tone a notch in response to me saying “hold on” while I hurry to put together a bottle… he also instantly knew what to do after a single repetition when I say the word “Ready?”… he turns his head in the direction I’m at to get the bottle when I ask him this, and this response was conditioned after a single repetition!

He did vocalize for me once yesterday, but that was it, and it wasn’t a mimic.

It was frustrating to watch him regress from one day old to 3 days old, but in seeing, we were able to cut off a key impairment that caused us the jaundice, lethargy, weight loss, and lack of opportunity to do anything other than essential survival stuff… this morning we were hurried into yet another doctor’s office to have his Frenum clipped. Why this wasn’t done earlier, I do not know… I also do not know why I had to make a big deal out of it just to have it done.

Thankfully, my wife is an educator (a sword that cuts both ways IMO) and she knows several kids with severe learning problems stemming from speech impediments due to being tongue tied during the formative years 0-2 and in some cases beyond. But even she did not see or comprehend the severity of the problem until day 3 when we were both up 21 hours attempting to get this child the nourishment he needed.

He still has to spend some time on the bilibed, but it’s challenging to have him in that thing as many hours as he perhaps should.

Apologies for the long update, it’s just I feel like I hit the starting gate just fine and then broke my leg the first few feet of a marathon (LOL)… we may not have been able to do as much learning since day 1 as I’d like… but I’m happy to report that we’re doing everything within our powers to make sure he’s ready and able to tackle life.

Probably more like a sprained ankle than a broken leg. The problems don’t stop you from being in the race next week, just a little hiccup :smiley: A broken leg takes longer to heal than a few days in a jaundice blanket. How long does the tongue snip take to mend? I have no experience wight his one?
It probably feels very stressful and all consuming but I want to say overall in the giant sceme of things you have a healthy baby. :slight_smile:
Pokerbub is hungry and doesn’t care one little bit for your early learning goals until he is full and satisfied and comfortable. It seems to me you have your job all sorted out, and bub isn’t going to let you forget it! lol
I was reading Principles of Ability and Human Learning just last night. It had an interesting section on how babies quickly become conditioned to habit. If a baby is always fed in one room it will continue to cry until it reaches that room, yet a baby fed anywhere may associate being picked up by mum as feeding cue to stop crying. Seems your baby has picked up a cue from you, actually multiple cues! Cool! At 4 days old that’s amazing. For the record I wish i had known that with my first child. She screamed her lungs out right until the point of nipple in mouth! Crikey, a cue for her could have been priceless to me! I wonder how long pokerbub can handle waiting between the cue and the delivery? :biggrin: Feel like experimenting in increasing self control on a 5 day old baby? lol
It’s wonderful hearing all your thoughts. The plans, the goals and the reality with feelings are quite a priceless addition for many newbies on the forum. Not to mention that you yourself will read them in years to come and find them valuable too. Thanks for sharing.

Thank you, Thank you!

In response to the frenum clipping, the procedure itself lasts less than a second (snip, done). It’s the set up that takes a few seconds. The doctor must have the child (or baby in my case) restrained and still (swaddling, holding the head), I don’t remember exactly how he held the tongue up, but he was quite adept at it… similar to my marvel at how the dog groomer can get my dog to sit still while buzzing and clipping all sorts of body parts… my guess is that he used a … (don’t know the word for it) wide popsicle stick to hold it up, had a bright overhead light with binocular magnification attached and a pair of medical scissors in his right hand.

Baby’s cry showed absolutely no response to the clipping action of the doctor. For baby, he hated just being held down on a table.

Recovery time? Instantaneous. Lactation professional was in the room for the procedure and then helped mommy do a feeding moments after the ENT doctor left the room. Everyone couldn’t believe the difference in suck power and frequency of swallowing from before and after the procedure.

The biggest problem with being tongue tied, IMO, is that the parent’s don’t know it until their child has some problem… or maybe a doctor notices it, mentions it, and the parent doesn’t realize this can be a MAJOR problem if not fixed, and it’s really easy to fix (but will be arduous and expensive to repair the damage from not having it fixed in a timely fashion)

I feel like we dodged a bullet and that baby’s weight loss, etc was a good thing… can you imagine how I’d feel in two years after our efforts only to find a huge hindrance that’s nothing more than a flap of connective tissue that can be fixed pain free in two seconds

Wow thats amazing! So easy to fix! You are right to feel lucky, I could just imagine feeling soooo peeved to find out at age 2 or later! He should gain all that weight back quickly now then :slight_smile:
I almost had one of mine hospitalised from lack of weight gain at the end of 2 weeks. There wasnt anything wrong with her, she just didnt put it back on fast enough. I was lucky the health nurse was quite pro breast feeding and gave me an extra day, told me to feed her, feed her feed her feed her, and come back tomorow. We just scraped through! and I mean just. Its funny how they can loose weight or not put it on and its so difficult to see a problem until the scale shows you the numbers. I am so glad your baby was one of the lucky ones. I hope pokermum ( lol ) is handling it all as calmly as you are.