With my DD I recently started having her memorize her personal information (her name, mommy & daddy’s full names, phone numbers) and what to do if she’s lost and can’t find mommy or daddy ( find another mommy and say “I’m lost” and repeat what we taught her, mommy’s name and phone # etc).
After a conversation with another BK member about protecting your children from sexual predators following the recent Amazon book controversy, we started teaching DD about “private areas.” I do have her recite after me “My private areas are mine and mine alone, nobody touches but me!” and if someone was ever to try, she should yell NO TOUCH as loud as she can and run to get Mommy and I’ll make it all better. I had to be so careful to present this in a way that would not scare her, and have these talks at a time when she was not tired, cranky, etc.
It makes me sick just to type this out and adress it, but I want to arm and protect my kids as best I can. Too many people are affected by this and I want to do everything in my power to guard my children. What are your favorite books on the subject to read with your kids that are presenting in a child friendly way? I know there are quite a few out there.
What else have you done with your child or taught them to help keep them safe? Right now my kids are with me 24/7 for the most part, but there will most likely come a day when she will be out of my sight, even now sometimes at the group church nursery.
It dawned on me this morning that I should put this memory information into LR and have her read the words while we recite it. We did this with the Lord’s Prayer and I am amazed how fast she is picking it up, the words really help. So, I should be using this method to reinforce names, phone numbers, and addresses, etc.
My child having the ability to recite our address on command kind of scares me. A phone number, I can understand seeing as we have cell phones that cannot be connected to addresses.
I don’t like the idea of someone speaking to my child unnoticed and asking where we live… it frightens me… even though we have huge dogs. In my mind though, I believe that if anyone really wants to get in my house, nothing will really be able to stop them.
To address this, my husband and I started very early while in the bath tub. We would sing “This is the way we wash our hair, wash our hair, wash our hair. This is the way we wash our hair when we’re taking a bath.” Started this from his first real bath onward. When we would get to his privates, we would sing, “This is the way we wash our privates, wash our privates, wash our privates. This is the way we wash our privates, which can only be touched by mommy or daddy.” And then throw in “Or yourself” at the end.
DomanMom had a really great idea that I read on her blog. She told her son that if anyone ever told him not to tell her something, then he should run and tell her IMMEDIATELY. We plan on doing this and also adding that if anyone threatens to hurt him or anyone for telling Mommy and Daddy, then they are big fat liars! And if they hurt you first, then you need to tell us so that we can stop them from hurting you ever again.
I think now we will add your bit about yelling to our list of things to teach him. Thanks for the tip and for bringing this up. It crosses my mind a lot.
This topic is so hard to address, but clearly it needs to be. I was curious about the same thing because I find myself continuously telling my son to do what the teacher says when he’s at preschool. It crossed my mind, how do I help him know what’s acceptable behavior from an adult/child/care person? Thank you for being brave enough for bringing it up, and I will be looking for responses. I think I will start with the pertinent information, and eventually work my way up.
These are very good points. I’m glad I brought this up because I appreciate the feedback. I haven’t yet taught her our address but have been meaning too soon. I suppose a phone number and how to spell our last name is more than enough information for an (honest) person to help her. She knows my cell number, I guess I will teach her Daddy’s too and that will be enough. I think I will wait to teach her an address. Also, I like her policy that if someone tells you NOT to tell Mom and Dad, that means you NEED to tell right away.
This reminds me of a brochure/website I read once on this subject. For an older child, you teach them to threaten “Stop or I’ll tell” but they know it’s code for “Stop AND I’ll tell” (basically teach them to tell regardless) once they get away.
Anyone have any good toddler book recommendations? There are a lot out there, but personal recommendations are always helpful.
ETA: I just have to add, one day I heard DD randomly spelling our very unusual last name (something I never taught her). I realized I spell it out so frequently on the phone (people butcher it constantly) that she just picked it up and was repeating it while playing with her toys. It was then that it dawned on me that if she was lost and someone asked mommy or daddy’s name, she would probably still say “Mommy” or “Daddy” and that’s what brought about the whole memorization thing (what is Mommy’s name, etc etc). Funny the things kids pick up!
I had my husband take a tape I had as a child and move it onto a CD. It was called “Safety Kids” and talked about this kind of thing in songs and stories. The song I still remember, twenty-odd years later, went:
“Sometimes you’ve just got to yell and scream.
Sometimes it’s the only thing to do!
Noisy as a fire truck,
You’ve just got to open up,
And get the crowd’s attention to you.”
It also had a song to teach you your telephone number (“I know my number, my telephone number”) and more songs and information about not letting anyone touching private places, etc. Songs worked really well for me for memorization and so I plan to use this for my kids.
I really like the bath routine and I think I’ll add that with my baby. And the idea that you should ALWAYS tell, no matter what they said.