I can't read to her anymore!

Hi,

My daughter used to love, when I was reading books to her. But for the last 2-3 weeks, she wants to look at the pages by herself, and doesn’t listen, when I read to her…

We used to read a lot, even 1.5 hours a day. But now, she brings a book for herself, and gives me another one to read :mellow:

I don’t know, is this just a phase? What should I do?

I used to read to my daughter all the time. I would get a stack of books and read them to her and she loved it. She still loves books, she takes them off the shelves and askes me to read it or she says “I am going to read it” although she doesn’t know how to read yet she does know a lot of words but she pretends she is reading and or she memorized the story for example “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” by Eric Carle…she loves, loves, loves that book and memorized it and she will sit there and “read” it to me. Which is great! But I try to read to her even when she asks me and she plays with the book or goes and get others and plays with them. It used to be a fun and relaxing time but now it is aggravating because I want to sit and read her a story and she just plays with the books. I am glad she is in love with books and plays with them, but I do miss that time we used to share, although I always continue to try to read to her. Especially before bed, but she just takes the book from me and flips the pages as I am reading. It does get frustrating. Anyway, I don’t think we are alone and I don’t think we should give up. I think that it is due to her age, she is exploring now. Just keep trying to read to her. Let your child “read” you a story and then you read a book to them. It won’t always work, but it might, sometimes it works for me. lol

When kids memorize books and “read” them back, it’s a great developmental step and stepping stone to “real” reading!

Kids at this age have “360 degree learning.” They can learn and absorb even if they are not directly staring at the pages, which of course is ideal. If my kids bring me a book and ask me to read it then walk away, I will typically finish reading the book while they play if it’s a short book and I have the time. (If they bring me a book in general, 99% of the time I will turn off the vacuum or drop what I am doing and read.) So, just because she is not sitting still doesn’t mean she doesn’t get anything out of it! Really!

Also, before I knew all about early learning, 2 summers ago my sister was on my case to read all of the Harry Potter books. It took me about a week and let me just say, DD had a lot of independent play that week LOL. lol However, IMMEDIATELY, she started picking up her books and “reading” them to herself. It was soooo healthy and beneficial for her to see me immersed in books! She has forever intensified her interest in books from that point on. With a more reading involved household, now my son is naturally picking up these habits but I need to make a point to let him see me read more too.

Keep in mind kids go through phases too. When my son was around 6-months and started crawling, he didn’t want much to do with flashcards. He was going through a developmental phase of exploration and flashcards were just not doing it for him! But now, he cannot get enough of them and pulls them out on his own.

Edited to add: Developing her own “reading” independence is also a great thing. That is the ultimate goal, right? Let her explore!

Keep at over the long term but little breaks are okay too! Keep up the good work Momma, you are giving your DD a great gift. :slight_smile:

I forgot to add, maybe if you bring some new books home from the library or bookstore it might peak her interest to be read to again. Just an idea!

Could she be reading them silently to herself? If so even if she is only reading some of the words and inferring the rest, it would be great. As long as she is still interested in reading I wouldn’t worry.

Lori

Yeah… I have to wait to be invited to read right now. If I start reading a book to him before he grabs my hand and sets it on the book, then he scolds me, closes the book and we must start all over again. lol It makes me smile, though. He likes to read it to me first sometimes, or just read to me, or just read the title. I really don’t know. I just follow his cues.

I have to agree that your child needs to see you read books to yourself. It helps them learn how to read on their own.

If you are concerned that her books are over her head (which many should be!) then you can create books that help her on the level she is on. Marta over here http://earlylearning-eaton.blogspot.com/2010/08/how-i-taught-my-baby-to-read-in-2_16.html has a lot of great suggestions. I have made most of these books myself. She finds the link later; it is kizclub.com. They have since added new sections.

My son loves the phonics books and reads them often, quietly and out loud… once he’s pretty sure of the word.

My baby is going through this phase also. Whenever I start reading him the book he will grab it, flip through it and then say THE END…
What I did is continue reading the book and keep tolding him nicely " when mommy reads the book you cant touch it" It does not always work though.
I tried also asking him to read to his teddy bear or tell him that its now mommy’s time to read this page then its yr. turn.
When my baby reach this phase at around 21 months of age he was also starting terrible two’s phase and I hope this will not last long.
I then got him Little Reader at that period and this helped a little bit or at least brought him to the next level of reading a whole sentence which made me verry happyyyy.
Just keep reading even if they r not looking at the book or u can also give them a break
Ru’a

I so agree with all of you who placed importance on letting your child see you read. I have always credited my mother for instilling in me a love for reading. I watched her from a very early age reading books. Great advice!

A great tip I wanted to share that I have been doing a lot since my little one has started giving me trouble is taking her finger and pointing to the words while I read her the story…it may be something you already do, but if it isn’t it keeps my little ones attention a little longer then if it is just be pointing to the words.

I am not sure but if I try to remember -

earlier she was ready to listen everything. But at that age (1,11) my girl started to show if she does not understand.
Most of the fairy tales are hard to understand. For example, most of the traditional ones (Singarella, cat with boots etc) start with death (and stepmother or heritage is introduced). there are so many terms which can not be understand for one year old child. even in the adapted versions, language is “lifeless”, there are uncommon terms and words. I can explain most of them but I do not want to explain death.

So I stopped reading fairy tales. Looking on pictures, I narrated the story with my own words. Or we took very simple stories with one sentence per page.

I admire parents which continue to read Dostojewsky (joke) to their toddlers.

We went through two different phases with H. where he didn’t want to be read to. The first was when he was one, I think around 14 or 16 months. He was more interested in walking around and using his mobility than reading. The second was shortly after he turned four, and while he never completely lost interest in reading, he didn’t like it as much as he did before. These both turned out to be phases, so I wouldn’t worry too much about it. He has gotten tired of everything we’ve tried at some point, but he’s also come back to most of it.

As to helping kids to be more amenable to being reading to, my advice is:

  1. I suspect a lot of parents think “a book is a book” as far as the child is concerned. No, it isn’t, even at this age. When they start getting finicky about books, it’s important start picking books more carefully. Read the things you know they like most. Get more books like that. When buying and checking out books, choose carefully. Even at age one, my boy had things he liked a lot and things he didn’t like so much. This “problem” (it isn’t really a problem, it’s just human nature–people have different interests and tastes) got much worse for us when he was two and three.

  2. At this age, kids start getting interested in specific topics, such as Thomas the Tank Engine or whatever. There are often other media that can spark your child’s interest in the topic/series more, which will get them interested in reading a book about the topic/series. We used to watch Thomas the Tank Engine videos which totally got him excited about reading Thomas stories.

  3. Try reading during mealtime, or have your husband do the reading. That’s how my wife and I did it–she spooned it in, I did the reading. Of course, you could switch these jobs. At mealtime, your child is a “captive audience” then and might welcome the diversion.

  4. Just to double-check a few things: are you putting your child in your lap while you read? This is nice for the child. Also, at mealtime, are you putting the book in front of the child, so he/she can see it very easily? You (or your husband) might have to learn to read sideways or upside-down. Also, are you pointing at the words as you read them? If your child is interested in words, this adds a dimension of interest.

  5. To comment on Frukc’s point: your child will be a lot more interested in books if they can understand them. I doubt many one-year-olds can understand any but the simplest fairy tales, simply told. There are some books–“concept picture books”–which are written for babies, that are more or less self-explanatory. Just a picture of an object, labelled. After you go through enough of those, they’re ready to take on board the simplest story books, like The Hungry Caterpillar, and simple sentence concept books of the sort you can find at the library (e.g., about the seasons or different months of the year). Sure it’s fine to challenge your child, we have always done so, but not too much. Most of the reading you do to your child should be at your child’s current level; some should be very easy; and some should be difficult, so that you have to explain a fair number of words. By reading a lot in this way, we got to the point at age 4 where we’re not just reading, we’re understanding chapter books that are meant for 8-12 year olds, such as The Last of the Really Great Whangdoodles, which we just finished; I read that one to myself when I was nine. And we just picked up The Story of the World, which we were reading but with some comprehension difficulties 18 months ago. Now, with dozens of easy history books under our belt, it’s pretty easy and much more enjoyable.

Just remember, none of these things might work, because again, your kid might just be (temporarily!) cool to the whole idea of books. Don’t worry about it. Just try again in a month. There are plenty of other things to do…

Thanks, DadDude! Now I know that you are not reading Dostoevsky to your child :slight_smile:

But there are some parents who say that they are reading real books to their 1 -2 year olds. I think - it is similar to radio listening because there is no feedback. Let’s switch the radio instead of reading.

Mainly we are reading very simple books. We discuss the pictures, count the mice etc. I point. Now (3.5 years) we read real stories, she understands and asks questions.

I belong to nationality with app. 1.5 million speakers so the offer of books is not so excellent as in English.

Well, it is possible to tell fairy tales to one-year old with just looking on pictures. Like “there were three sisters, one was nice, named Singarella, and two were not nice, and than they wanted to go to party”. My child always listened very carefully and I have a feeling that telling stories is much better than reading stories. Good for fantasy, for bonding, for learning new words. The book is not between us.