My sister and I were both due on the same day. Both our sons ended up being premature, mine by ten weeks, and hers by four. Benji has always been somewhat bigger and that doesn’t bother me as it is normal considering he had six weeks extra growth before birth when Nicholas was struggling to re-gain his birth weight.
Now, eight months down the line, Benji is pulling away in some areas and it is really starting to bug me. I know I’m being irrational, but I can’t help thinking my son should be doing things first.
It is especially unfair, since my sister makes good use of the tv babysitter, while I am trying hard to encourage Nicholas to be on his tummy and crawl. He just can’t seem to progress. We’ve been land-swimming for months and although he’s getting better at rotating on the spot, he refuses to push down onto the floor or the sides of his track for propulsion. Benji is now rocking on hands and knees and ready to take off.
I just can’t bear my sister’s reaction if Benji crawls first - she’ll be gloating forever. And it really really gets to me that for all the hours and hours I’ve made sure to put Nicholas on his tummy, Benji spent most of them sitting in his car seat or on the sofa watching telly!
I know that all babies develop differently, but Nicholas has been almost-crawling since April and his lack of progress is really starting to worry me - in all other areas he’s doing as well as any 8-9 month baby (he’s 9 1/2 actual age, 7 corrected to his due date). The paediatrician says she won’t worry unless he’s not moving by next December - I don’t want to wait that long if there is a problem…
Not sure I can really advise you (I don’t even have a sister:-)
But of course I understand how you feel.
If I may, there is something which strikes me, that’s the fact that you got pregnant exactly at the same time. I’m no psychologist but this must say something about your relationship (extremely close? or not at all?)
Actually, neither of us planned to get pregnant and we weren’t even in the same country at the time. She didn’t know she was pregnant until 26weeks - it was just some trick of fate that we were both due on the same day.
We get on well enough as long as we don’t spend too much time together and I let her have her way
When it gets too hard, you can try to imagine that in ten years’ time, no one will remember who crawled first.
What will matter to you is the relationship you have with your son, and what will matter to other is how well behaved he is and whether he is a joy to be around.
That would cheer me uo lol
It must be hard to watch when you’ve been putting in the hard yard.
Your nephew had a lot more time in utero to develop, I think your son is doing marvellously well to have caught up so quickly to his birth age. A sign that you have been doing a lot of work and so has he
The difference between putting in the time and using the tv sitter will pay off emotionally and physically down the line trust that you are doing what is best for your son and that the two of you are having priceless moments together that you can’t replace. You’ll be closer to him for it.
As for the crawling, my son didn’t crawl till after he walked (despite much encouragement from us, he just didn’t want to) so kids really do all develop differently.
Don’t concentrate on which kid crawls first it will just stress you out and your bubba will know. Concentrate on having a good relationship with your son, because in the end it will be far more important that he is close to you and can come to you for anything than if he crawled a day or two before his cousin.
If you make sure he gets a rounded day filled with love, joy, experience, mental stimulation and physical stimulation he will gain so much and you’ll have had invaluable bonding time.
Of course it is very hard to be rational when your emotions have been spiked.
Another thing you could try, I did it with my oldest one, I would put something that he liked (his bottle or a cracker) on the floor in front of him and walk away. Once he couldn’t see me and knew i wasn’t just going to give in and hand it to him he started scooting.
aside from that, dont compare your kid to hers. it’s not healthy. you and your baby are all that matters to you and your baby. if you get so bugged about her kid doing this or that, your baby will take notice. even if he doesn’t know what is going on he will feel bugged about it too.
