Hi all
I have come across this article while surfing net about early learning methods. I will skim it up. The article states that early learners, though will seem to have an advantage on starting their schooling, will lose it when they are 5 years old. Their ability will even out as other kids catch up. On the initial years they may be even thought of having ADD, as whatever they will be learning, will already be known to them , and so they will pay little attention to the class. These kids will also lack in friends, will at times be thought as bossy, know-it-all, and so will lose an oppurtunity to have a normal childhood.
I am a strong believer of early learning methods. If the above is true, I wouldn’t want any of these happen to my kid. I am sure none of you will either want it. That makes me think that along with early learning methods we should also impart a set of good character in kids, the first one being humble. We should also make them understand that whatever knowledge they have should always make them understand that there is so much left to learn. Never to make fun of anybody’s ignorance. They should also have good spiritual side and moral sense. If we are able to impart all these then we can be sure that we are nurturing them to be successful personalities.
Anybody who followed early learning methods have their kids in elementary school? How do they fare? What are your thoughts on the matter?
Hi Anjie…
My brother was reading unknown words at 3 1/2 years and ended up skipping two grades at school as he was bored. Clever kid, on the computer at a young age, and a phenomenal memory. He’s not 18 years yet and finishing up his second year of uni.
He started to become lazy academically around 12-13 years of age, when he worked out he could day dream in class, quickly go through his lesson the day before the test and pass with an average mark. So he’s been average with his grades ever since, but had never failed.
So his early teaching helped him remembering concepts easily and ‘working with out’ things without too much help.
I don’t know if this helps.
In weekends, I usually go to countryside. Here I meet a girl which is 11 years old, she goes to a very small and remote countryside school.
Last week she told me that there is 8 year old boy in her class. He is very successful in all the disciplines. He is good also in sports, especially in running and basketball. (He is also as tall as this girl.)
During the first 2 months everyone looked at this boy as a funny stranger. but now everyone wants to be his friend. (she repeated this “everyone” several times.)
So I think that it is possible to bind early education and nice temper
Sometimes (before this poll) I was thinking about some of my friends (no all of them) which started to read at 3 as I know now. Why these very clever, interesting and tallented persons are not very successful professionally. Some are ignoring their tallents (working in job what everyone can do), not knowing what to do or not working at all.
My opinion is - because all they were partly abandoned by their mothers. I mean, mother was working (from age of 2 months or similar), and grandmothers together with aunts were taking the main care, educating the child etc.
Acording to what I know about the child psychology, in these conditions the child is loosing his self-confidence. Child thinks that all other persons are more worth than he is. So if there is a competition or struggles, he steps back.
Almost all mothers think that they are the best.
But you never know.
If you are really concerned about the EQ of our child than I would advice:
go to courses or lectures about the emotional parenting of child;
go to child psychologist, to test if you are doing the right things;
go to individual psychotherapy. parents intuitively do the same as their parents did. if there was something wrong - you need to rethink your childhood and what it did to you. it will help both you and your child.
I personally know two mothers who taught their babies to read years ago. The first is a good friend. She taught her daughter to read at 3 years old. At 5 when she began school, she was able to read out of the Bible. She excelled in school and in her career. She is not quite 30 years old and she is making a 6 figure income. She is studying for her Ph D. She writes a lot for her work and has a very prestigious job.
I met another lady who taught her child to read as a baby. Her daughter is now grown up and in law school.
I don’t believe we are making our children into geniuses, but we are giving them a strong start in life. When you are good at something, you tend to enjoy it. When you can read well, it makes school more enjoyable. My brothers struggled in school and they hated it. I always did well and I loved school. Building a solid foundation in literacy will only benefit our children.
I don’t believe we are making our children into geniuses
Yes, I think that “the real geniuses” often are unhappy and lonely people, and it is hard to live with them…
I just want my child to be happy and free, and successful whatever she wants to do!
I posted recently about how my son is doing at school, (sorry not sure how to attach the link here). He read long before he started school at 5, and he is a well adjusted little boy who has loads of friends. He loves playing computer games, he’s quite cheeky too. Even though his teacher gives him a bit more advanced work for his class, he gets through them really quickly and is off to play or do the things he really loves.We don’t have to spend precious time trying to make him cope wih school work. instaed we go swimming, dancing, play junior monopoly etc! He’s very confident and told me recently he feels good with himself cos he’s able to put his hands up in class to answer questions and that makes him proud!
I learnt to read early myself and ended up being a doctor! So I support early learning 100% I think as long as we’re balanced in what we do and make it fun for them, it’s what kids want to do - learn. If babies could talk they would actually ask to be taught.
And no, we’re not trying to raise geniuses, they already are anyway, we’re only trying to give them the best start in life, building their confidence in themselves and their ability.
I was an early learner (not Doman, self taught) and I was expected to do well. I was academic, so didnt do well in sport, needlecraft, art, woodwork, metalwork, cooking etc, but was expected to have A’s in these subjects too. Then I was expected to go to uni and become an astrophysicist. Not my dream!! How boring. So being forced to study subjects I wasnt interested in, I turned uni into one big party and did badly. I would have liked to have been a teacher. Now I am a full-time mother and a complete disappointment to my parents. My brother, not academic, did not go to uni and wasnt expected to. Parents are proud of him… he’s earned good money, is in his thirties, has a trade and hasnt had any kids, and now owns property.
Be careful what expectations you put on your kids… it can destroy their dreams, goals and entire future. Just because they might be advanced, dont push them to be what they dont want to be, or do what they dont want to do because of your own pride or unfulfilled dreams. Help them to be what they were pre-designed to be. there are tests that can reveal their strengths and aptitudes, and suitable career paths. Have your kids do them.
My oldest kid likes forensic science shows, so I’m trying to steer her into researching that to see if she really likes it. Otherwise she has no clue what she wants to be. 2nd daughter wants to be a supermodel… possible, but I have to help her have back-up plans in place!
I’m not sure how useful those aptitude tests are, ultimately, but I do agree that it’s important not to lay heavy expectations on your kids. Doman is dead set against testing. I moderate that view somewhat, but I agree that testing too much, or at the wrong time, can be really harmful. Well, having a lot of specific, you-must-do-this-or-else expectations for your kid is like putting your kid through a big “life test.” Frankly, this is part of why we want to homeschool. Giving the kids (and us) the freedom from the teacher’s and irrational societal expectations and testing is very important to us.
I have always homeschooled my children. I had wanted to read “The Well-Trained Mind” since the beginning, but I just recently had the opportunity to do so. It is a great resource for parents wanting to homeschool. There is also “A Thomas Jefferson Education”. Both of these books are wonderful for helping to raise children to be leaders and independent thinkers.
about the expectations / child knowing what he wants to do.
I don’t remember who posted this wonderful text but I saved it
=============
Four pillars of the power of Suggestion
Suggestion:
You have wonderful ability
Power:
Relates to innate ability
S: you are fine just as you are now
p: relates to issues of self-worth
s: It’s OK not to be the same as everyone else. You have your own way of doing things.
p: relates to individuality
s: The answers all lie within you
p: relates to the power of creative thinking
2 important points here:
Get out of the mold you have been in thus far and return to you primal, energetic self
Evoke the next new ability
pg24 “If this way of thinking takes root in small children, there is no more need for them to be competitive. It becomes all right to live without always comparing themselves to others. I believe that these children will be able to perceive the essence of any situation and know what it is they really want to do, and also waht needs to be done in any given situation. I believe this type of education is incredibly important”.— Yumiko Tobitani.
Frukc… I’m the sort of person you refer to re abandonment by mother, works from a few moths of age, looked after by others, leads to low self-esteem and lack of good career. It’s true in my case.
DadDude… I’m not referring to Doman not-recommended testing, I’m talking about the sort of tests careers counsellors have to determine suitable jobs, which is a questionnaire to expose clearly interests, temperament, academic strengths and other qualities of a person to help them realise what career paths would be suitable. For instance, my daughter who wants to be a supermodel would likely discover that which I already know but she hasn’t realized… that is she is too sensitive, easily offended, too afraid of criticism and too self-conscious to be a supermodel. Not to mention she wouldnt be comfortable in some of the clothing they are expected to wear or the poses they have to take. A career test (possibly a personality test of some type) would help her to face these home truths and take a more realistic view of what she would find “comfortable” employment-wise. If only my parents had done that with me… they’d have found out what I already knew…I should have been a teacher. And they might have supported me to a great career rather than a life of wishing i hadnt wasted my youth living their dreams.
Its more important to understand your children and their wants or desires or inspiration, kill that and you would probably have a inteligent zombie … well unhappy person at least not really a zombie, who is living a “would have been” life. Be what they want to be we help them … guide them and show them the world and it would be like or expected … if they want to be in that field …
if you believe in star signs … it could also help, not necessarily superstituous, but a general idea, or a personality test etc … but then again desire views change as one grows up or is exposed to more things or fields … but to excel in certain fields certain personality threads are pre-requisite.
I also agree with understnading your kids and try to nuture their desires and goals.
Nikita, I cannot imagine what it feels like being in aposition of knowing you could have been happier if you had followed your own dreams and been a teacher instead. Parents sometimes want to live out their own dreams through their children, most of the time innocently, not meaning any harm. The good thing is you know better and obviously are doing the best for your kids.#
My 5.5year old son in the past year or so has ‘changed’ his career so many times! Wanted to be a footballer- we got him the football kit, then wanted to be a fireman - got him fire helmet, wanted to be formula 1 racer , few days ago, wanted to be a dentist! It just goes to show how imaginative they are, and I take extra precaution not to discourage anything he comes up with, I try to let him know all I can about his ‘chosen career’ who knows which one he’ll eventually settle for. I always tell him he could do anything he wanted, but what’s important is to get a good education( academic and otherwise).
I wish my younger son (10yr) had such wonderful asperations he wants to be a …tatoo artist. While I do encourage my children to be artistic this isn’t quite what I had in mind.
Nikita, I believe that if your parents would not do their pressure on you than you would sooner discover what you want to be.
With their pressure, you learned to surpress your feelings and desires. In such conditions, you don’t know what you are and what you feel. You don’t hear your inner self. Than it is a long way to get closer to yourself and maybe you still have long way to go. (That is what a psychotherapy is about.)
You still can become a teacher. Your experience on early education might be something what other teachers don’t have.
I was thinking why there is such a high risk for early learners to become loosers.
(I am early learner and looser too, so I have right to talk about it )
Testing is a part of traditional teaching.
Now I know that testing creates stress for child, and that children often answer wrong because they can not say precisely what they feel and think.
But there is something more which I understood just now.
If the child answers wrong, there is a moment of disappointment. Even if the tester does not say anything bad, for short moment child thinks that he is not good.
As more teaching, as more such moments when child thinks that he is not good enough for his parents. These moments accumulate in lower self-confidence.
In result, such early-educated kid has lower self- confidence than un-educated child of the same age. By default.
When I ask to my doughter questions like “how many fingers there are”, she always replies “two”. Probably, she knows more but can not say. I will not ask such questions any more and never.
I will let my child learn in the same way she learns to play and to have fun; nobody is testing her progress in these disciplines
upd.
and thank you for this discussion because I discovered such an important thing for me
)