We are 60 year old grandparents and have had a foster baby since she was 2 months old. (Now 16 months). Also, we are white and she is black.
Our children are not in favour of us having the baby as they say that we are too old and will not be able to look after her as she grows up, and they do not consider her as “their sibling”.
Sive’s parents are both alive, but father wants nothing to do with her and mother has HIV/Aids and is not able to look after her.
We are trying to find adoptive parents for her, but the infrastructure for that is not up to scratch, and I believe the longer it goes on the more difficult it will be to find other parents for her, not to mention what it will do to us to have to “give her away”. We love her just as much as we do our own children.
I think if it were me, and I was financially and physically able, I would try to adopt her. If you love her like your own and can take care of her, then do it. She may never have someone who can love her as much as you.
Color certainly does not matter, and although the rest of your family’s opinions matter, they should not decide what you already know in your heart. If you do decide to let someone else adopt her, be content in knowing that you gave her all your love and care and many opportunities that she probably wouldn’t have had otherwise.
iv’e noticed in my own personal experience that when we second guess ourselves as to whether we are doing the right thing or whether we will be able to continue with our commitments, we end up holding back from what we really want.
you people have done an amazing thing by fostering a child. by giving a child who didnt have a great start a positive life.
i think that you should do what your heart tells you.
think about how you would feel if you didnt have this baby.
your emotions will help guide you to a good decision.
First off let me commend you both for fostering a child. There are so many children out there that need good homes and a stable life. My mother was a foster parent for a couple of years and we saw how positive it was for the child no mater how long or short their stay was.
I think if you have the means to take care of this child then I encourage you to do so. Your children may have a point about your age (imo) but they should also be more understanding in that you are trying to help a child out. As for them not considering her as “their siblingâ€â€¦ I wouldn’t consider this child my sibling either…but they probably pass as “uncles†and aunties†instead. I have many close uncles and aunties that are not blood related but I still consider them as part of my family.
Just like the other posters say….follow your heart, do what you think is right for you and right for the child. Good luck.
Karma to you all!!! Thanks for these really positive comments. I must say when I see that little beaming face when I go into her bedroom in the morning, I know we are doing something right
