Finding the right caregiver - nurturing nannies

If you must (or want to) use a caregiver (grandparent, nanny, daycare, tutuor) to look after your LO, how do you know who’s right and will nurture your child – mind, body, spirit – in the manner you would approve of. This seems to be the most important decision. Then there is transitioning the baby/toddler, transitioning the caregiver… More here Http://bit.ly/csPdeC.

I have had some limited help with my 3 kids over the years, but I have never been entirely comfortable that the caregiver was on the same page as me. It’s a tough decision, and NOT something to settle for second best.

Interesting link McDume, karma to you.
I myself are a grandma that enjoys a lot playing, reading and nurturing his grandson. But i am not with him all days. Only afternoons tuesday an thursdays when he is with his father and he has to work . He has someone who takes care of him at his mother’s and father’s house but good nanys are very difficult to find.

We have had our boy with a care provider since he was very little, and it is the most difficult thing for me.

You have to give up some control to another when you hire childcare…there is no way around it.
Each care provider will do some things really great, but there will always be points where the style or technique is not to your liking, etc.
You can insist on things being done a certain way to an extent, but after a certain point, you have to compromise.
Then, there is the problem of your child getting attached and comfortable with one daycare situation…you begin to feel guilty for changing it and disturbing the child. We are in this situation now…

Picking a pre-school is a whole other struggle. Convenience for parents vs. advantages for child? Bi-lingual vs. Montessori? etc. etc.

Nobody will ever replace the parent(s), especially parents who support early learning and love to teach.
In a perfect world, I would home school my boy until at least elementary school.

However, there are some really encouraging parents in this forum that use full-time daycare and their kids are thriving.
The beauty of the techniques for early learners is that they take only a few minutes a day. You can enrich your child in the morning and evening and on weekends and still see results no matter what’s going on during the bulk of the day (i.e. un-structured play or not a lot of intentional learning activities).

Nurturing is key, of course. Hugs, kisses, cuddling, friendliness and cheerfulness - you can’t go wrong with those qualities.

That being said, our care provider is a local mom and she is extremely involved in her own 2nd graders education and schooling, so she has always understood my eagerness for early learning and she introduces our boy to activities that slightly challenge him, like arts and crafts that use fine motor skills, kicking soccer balls with the older boys, high volume of books, board puzzles, etc. And she’s exposing him to my native tongue, Russian.

If I have any advice, it’s to avoid working with care providers that are outright hostile to early learning.
Seek out a situation that is rich in language, even if it is a foreign language.
Find care providers that will give your LO a lot of fresh air and exercise outdoors.
Care providers from other countries (i.e. outside of America) seem less hostile to early learning, in my experience.

Hope this helps.

“If I have any advice, it’s to avoid working with care providers that are outright hostile to early learning.
Seek out a situation that is rich in language, even if it is a foreign language.
Find care providers that will give your LO a lot of fresh air and exercise outdoors.
Care providers from other countries (i.e. outside of America) seem less hostile to early learning, in my experience.”

Mom2Ross - great advice, and it sounds like you’ve been very, very fortunate with your childcare situation. I’m jealous.

We have used 3 aupairs and 1 nanny. We have been blessed that each one of them was wonderful and caring with our children. We have asked each one of them to stay with us longer. We are just about to begin our search for our next nanny because we cant convince the current one to not go back to college! :biggrin: Its always hard when they first start but we have been very lucky!