Family Bed

I was wondering what the members thought of the family bed. I have a two yr. old who still sleeps with us. It started because I couldn’t carry him due to medical reasons and it made nursing possible to have him in bed with us. Now he is two and we are having a terrible time getting him out of our bed. Any ideas? I am just a sucker and do not like to let him cry.

Hi, I have a similar problem though my daughter is only 13 months and I am also nursing her in my bed. I make sure she naps in her cot and she always starts the night in the cot (usually rocked to sleep to get her in there, though I have let her cry for short periods sometimes) In the middle of the night though she does get into my bed almost every night. She is still nursing from me at least once a night (though often 3 or more times). I do try to put her back into her own bed occassionally and if she is tired enough then I will succeed.

Is she in a cot or a bed in her own room? Perhaps try letting her sleep on a mattress on the floor in your room before moving her out of your room entirely so she gets used to being away from you slowly. I am also wondering if I will be able to get my daughter out without using crying so if you find a good solution, please let us know.

Gabriel slept in bed with me until he was about 6 months. At 6 months, I started putting him in his crib after he fell asleep, and amazingly, he slept through the night. Well, last month, I was getting really tired of lying in bed every night trying to get Gabriel to sleep. I don’t get much done during the day, so nights are the only time I have to study and get other things done. Sometimes it would take 30-60 minutes for him to fall asleep in my bed.

So I decided to start laying him in his crib to fall asleep. I had read many articles about how to do it. You are supposed to lay them down, leave the room, and let them cry. You are not supposed to go back into the room. This is really hard to do! There is nothing worse then listening to your baby crying and screaming. But all the books say that it will be hard the first couple of nights and gradually get better. Gabriel cried for 30 minutes straight the first night. The second night he cried for 15 minutes. Then the third night he cried for only 2 minutes. After a few days, he didn’t cry at all. I am so glad that I stuck with it. It’s definitely hard, but well worth it!

I do cosleeping with my babies and LOVE IT!! however I have 3 babies ages 3 just turning 2 and 7 months!! what a ride lol anyway with getting pregnant my kids got kicked out of our bed and into their own big kid toddler bed at their one year birthday!! what a present my daughter was so excited I could not keep her out of her big girl bed… so what I did was put her toddler bed right next to mine for a few weeks and got her used to sleeping near us and not on us so then the transition was easy we let her decorate her room and then she told us when she wanted to put her big girl bed in her own big girl room. So now both of the big kids are in the same toddler bed in their room most nights… yes we have 2 beds but they love sleeping together because it reminds them of our bed. and the baby is in our room still with us but some nights it is all 5 of us in our little Queen bed (reccomend a KING for Cosleeping!) But it is fun Make it an adventure that they lead and you will never have any tears. :wink: :smiley:


Hi,

You could start a bedtime routine with him - like bathing him, story-reading (in his own bed), feeding him milk with the lights off. For best effects, choose the time to start the bedtime routine where you know he’ll get sleepy. When he kicks a fuss or scrambles into your bed, you’ll need to bring him over to his bed or his room and tell him it’s bedtime very calmly.

You might need to do it several times before he cooperates.

Thank you for all the tips! I am such a softy with him and he knows it! I will try to be better about or bedtime routine and stick to it because I need my sleep! :wacko:

As I am typing this, my little one is napping on my lap. Just when I think he’s out, I try and put him in his crib and he wakes up and cries. He’s been doing this at bedtime too. I have a bedtime routine and he was really good about falling asleep by himself but then we went on vacation for a few days. He didn’t like his playpen so he slept with us the entire time. So now that we are home, I’m worried that he’s formed a habit of wanting to sleep with me. I’m not against “family bed” but I don’t sleep good when we are all together…I like my space to sprawl out :biggrin: I might have to take nhockaday’s advice and just let him cry a little. :frowning:

My boys are now sleeping in their own room. My only problem is the little princess (she’s 2 now) who refuses to sleep on her own. She sleeps with us and is very close to me though.

We bond very well as a family, but I might want to get her to sleep in her own room very soon.

I have my baby or babies in bed with me… I feel we get better sleep that way. I cant put a baby into a cot and walk away when they arent already asleep first. I read that co-sleeping reduces likelihood of cot death (makes sense, cant have cot death if they arent sleeping in a cot!!!)…I just like to plop bubby in the crook of my arm and go to sleep…my babies always went straight to sleep being in this position. I hear people talking about having to get up and down all night to their babies and I smile to myself… I’ve not had this problem…if bub wakes I just cuddle them straight back to sleep… no need to get up. Unfortunately in Australia it’s looked down on… like it’s child abuse and you can be reported to child protection authorities for doing such a BAD PARENT thing… so I dont tend to tell people. But I find it means I dont have bad sleep, so I dont have all the post natal depression issues so many seem to have, and look forward to having more kids…

TO Nikita
GOOD FOR YOU AND GREAT FOR YOUR BABY!! your child is lucky to have such a good mom that loves him enough to do the right thing even if you can get in trouble for doing it. I can not say enough good things about what you are doing for your baby. I know for a fact that my kids sleep longer and wake less have less bedwetting accidents and less nightmares when they sleep with me or even in the room with me. And the best part is I sleep better (not less but more!!) when they are with me because I am peaceful in the knowledge that they are safe and close if anything is wrong later!! CONGRATULATIONS ON BEING A BAD PARENT!! And I mean that in THE BEST PARENT EVER kinda way!!

Nikita - I second what princessclem said " Congrats on being a bad parent!" lol

I think it’s crazy that you could get in legal trouble for caring enough to sleep with your child at night. Co sleeping should be a personal choice - not something that is legislated! Where did common sense go?

I didnt realize it was “the wrong thing” til my fourth baby, when I accidentally mentioned it to my maternal health nurse and her horrified response (you dont sleep with your baby do you??? You could roll on her? You arent allowed to sleep with your babies in the same bed, it’s dangerous…) had me back tracking to cover myself (er, I mean, to feed lying down…). Let’s just say if I was to foster babies I would absolutely NOT be able to have them in bed with me… they have to have their own room. (I have the cot next to my bed, so if I get too squashed I can put her in there).