It seems likely that some of the social skill difficulties encountered in the longitudinal study are due to autistic traits which may not have been recognised at the time. To the untrained observer, a child with Asperger’s Disorder may just seem like a normal child behaving differently.
Asperger’s work was unavailable in English before the mid-1970s; as a result, AS was often unrecognized in English-speaking countries until the late 1980s.
Traits, Diagnosis, and Social Aspects of Asperger Syndrome
Wow, I feel kind of bad for you. I’m sad that you can’t see any positives to your life, and can’t see the positives for your unborn child. The best thing I can think to tell you is that you are focusing on the wrong thing, it won’t matter a lick what your child does or doesn’t do for at least 5 years, that is plenty of time to foster a good relationship with your child before academics enters the picture. Life is not academics, it is living and loving and enjoying the world, including the excitement of learning and ultimately becoming a productive member of a community. Please, focus on that, not predicted doom and “dysfunction” as you describe it. How my child fits in and navigates socially is really not up to me, that is the child’s challenge. All you can do is make your home as open and inviting as possible to your child’s friends (something my parents failed to do as I was growing up).
Wow is right. I really hope you didn’t mean this to sound as insulting as it does.
I wouldn’t bother feeling bad for me. In terms of the big picture, life is pretty good. I did however have a problem, a month ago, that I asked about specifically without giving more information than was required.
Even with the limited amount of information I’ve given, I have no idea how you came to the conclusion that I can’t see any positives (for myself or anyone else). I was actually concerned that maybe I’d given the wrong impression and went back and reread everything I’d posted, including the rebuttal to the study Chris mentioned. Nothing that concerns my family is even negative. I’ve taken the side that we ought to embrace the genius of our child regardless of the opinions of society and I was looking for support in ways to convince my husband that this is the best idea as well. I even said I’d love my baby regardless of how smart or dumb he ends up.
The concern about my focus I can understand, given that I have not shared the big picture, just the specifics necessary to have my questions addressed. I am not nearly as concerned about the IQ of my baby, and whatever may come with that, as it seems in my posts. It is however one of the many concerns I do have as a new mother. Other concerns include things like am I really ready to be responsible for a tiny human, should I use cloth diapers, how will I keep people from harassing us before I’m ready for visitors, etc.
As for it not mattering “a lick” what’s done in the first 5 years, you are very mistaken. You are on a forum devoted to showing how important those first years are. The foundation of everything someone will learn, whether it’s a social skill or an academic one, is formed in the first 5 or 6 years.
I’m not worried about academics in the slightest, so I don’t know why you felt the need to point out that it’s not what life is. Life also isn’t the social dynamics of high school. Or the rush hour traffic jam. Or a million other things. But all those little things do add up to “life”. What is living otherwise, if not the mundane experiences of life?
The original concern is that my husband thinks (or maybe thought, I am slowly winning him over) that learning is not something to be excited about, but something to be avoided unless necessary. I don’t particularly get excited about learning either, although I consider it to be a fascinating pastime. I want my baby to at least look at learning as favourably as I do. It would be best if he loved it, but if he just thinks it’s a good way to waste time, that’s good enough.
Children primarily learn social skills from their parents, so in effect it is the parent’s failing when the child has limited social skills (assuming no medical reason such as autism spectrum disorders, brain damage, etc.) I don’t want to fail my child.
I hope this clears up any confusion. And I’m sorry to hear that your parents weren’t open to your friends.
Hi, Read all posts. You should have plan a for genius child and plan b for normal child. I m sure you know (and will), fostering emotional growth and psychological growth and spiritual growth - is most important and that would solve all problems we as children faced. Since we face problem and have learnt how to tackle, it is easy to make sure our child cant get such problem or can prepare how to handle. So cheers! Enjoy your pregnancy now
carpe vesti vita,
Wawww a difficult name.
I just found this topic and are very interested on what i read. My personal opinion is that give your baby the opportunity that we did not have in the past. Later on he can decide what he wants in his life. As said before not only reading at an early age will open a world of knowledge (surely he doesn’t need it right now) but language learning will be very useful especially in the each day more globalized world we are living.
Karma for the reference to the books, especially which ones are good and which not.
I see your baby is 6 month old. I think he was going to be a boy?
What was your decision and how is everythig going?
I agree with this and the importance of looking more for his emotional developement. Who knows, maybe he did not inherited being genious (don’t take it wrong) and you are worring for nothing.
How much would i have like to be born or have my children nowadays where all these opportinities can be given. When I was 7 years the first TV (blach and white) came to Peru. Nevertheless I am glad my parents allways give me the best they could sending me to a good school (they have to work to afford it), music, ballet, language lessons etc etc. I did very good at university and when a meet with my friends they make me remember what good times we pass and what a genious they consider me. Maybe i was NOT TOO MUCH because we had a very nice group.
My children also excel in their areas and now my only grandson for whom i am in this forum, benefits from all that i am learning in early education. With no doubt i am transmitting (teaching) all that i can. For us it is like playing (really learning), he always wants to know more.
I am more passionate learning about this topics than with my work.
Yes, my little guy is 6 months old. He’s a terror. He’s already cruising around the furniture, getting into everything, and otherwise stressing Mommy out.
We decided to let Zed decide what he wants to do. Right now he loves to play on the floor, and will not only sit still for flashcards, he will take them out himself. My husband still has his doubts, but he can see how much our son loves learning.
I’m not online much because he’s quite demanding of my time, and I’ve been working from home (even though I told myself I wouldn’t) When I get a free minute, I end up working, not checking forums online. It was actually a coincidence that I came online today and noticed you’d posted today.
Based on the Doman development chart, he’s pretty much on par with kids doing the course. Compared with babies of my friends, he’s quite advanced, some of these babies are over a year old now, and he’s leaps and bounds beyond them on most milestones. So I really have no idea if he inherited genius genes.
Thank for your replay.
I see you have a restless little boy.
My grandson love the encyclopedic cards but now he wants to said them to me. He was very very happy Sunday father’s day and brought me from the kitchen to show me his father (my son) reading the facts while showing the vegeteble pictures. That is something he never did before. He enjoys learning and we appreciate being together and ‘playing’ with this and flashcards, videos, coloring, hide and seak etc, etc
He is 3 1/2 ando goes 4 hrs a day to preschool. I stop working when he comes to my house and his father can not be with him mostly cause of his work. It is difficult for me not to be all time with him but i realized how important it is to be with his father.
Hope to find you soon in the forum, .
I find this whole discussion somehow strange, so I am going to wade in with a few banal pieces of advice/observations, and then wade out again. First, just because you’ve got a high IQ, that does not make you a genius. To say so is to abuse the perfectly good English word “genius” which I always thought was generally reserved for people who have used their intelligence or other mental gifts to achieve truly prodigious achievements, which they would not have achieved without that level of intelligence/giftedness. Second, if you’re like my wife and I and many others, you’ll find that having a child tends to readjust your perspective in deeply important ways–the result is generally an improvement, a maturation. Third and finally, the single most important thing you can do to support your child emotionally is to love him unconditionally, and don’t get all crazy on him or harsh with him. Have standards and principles, that’s important too, but be your child’s rock, the totally safe place he can always return to.
