Exceptional Child Rearing, Should We Be Ashamed?

[sarahjean]

I’m so glad that this thread is here so I can vent!

Generally speaking, I’m very lucky to have people around me who are very supportive of our early learning efforts. My husband, the grandparents, even our extended family are all very supportive because the can clearly see the results it produces. My oldest daughter at 12 months was saying over 50 words where her cousin of the same age was saying absolutely nothing.

So, yes, I am lucky to have the support most of the time (aside from the occasional comment from my grandmother like, “why is she wasting all her time making these games and stuff for them? I know she means well, but she should be doing something better with her time!” But she’s still very impressed by their knowledge and generally supportive.)

So, why do I need to vent?

Well, I generally post on my facebook updates about what I am doing with the girls for “school”. An extended friend of my husbands family thought it was her duty to write me a message letting me know that “…i know you mean well but they are just babies and are only little children once. both you and they should just enjoy their childhood.”

I tried to write back to her saying, “Hi *****! We only do learning activities when it’s fun
Violet cries when I stop and says, “More! More””
Don’t worry, I’m not a total nutcase drilling them so they can be geniuses."
She, of course, just wanted to meddle, not have an ACTUAL conversation about it, so she disappeared. I then updated my status to read:

…wants to clarify for all of those people who think I’m a nutter stealing my children’s childhood by teaching them - it’s all play for us! We stop when they are not interested, but normally they BEG for more. Violet cries when I try to stop, Lily yells, “Wanna learn more, Mom!” Rest assured, I am not tying them down and propping their eyes open with toothpicks while I show them flashcards!

I feel better now.

Seriously, what is wrong with people?! How could you possibly interact with young children all day and have them NOT learn? What would you do? Even playing lego is educational! Today Lily was playing with lego and making a tower for her Nanna (who was on the phone) and she said, “Making a tower with a wide base for Nanna!!” She learned that vocabulary when we played legos previously and her towers were falling over. Daddy and I simply explained how to make them more stable!

Honestly, What could you do with children all day that’s not educational??

[windsormum]

! am the mother of three grown up sons. 35 years ago I read Glen’s Doman’s “Teach Your Baby to Read” with mounting excitement. It changed not only my life but the course of my son’s lives irrevocably.

Suddenly it gave motherhood a whole new dimension. I had a vital role in the development of my children’s lives at their most critical period - the first seven years when the brain is still growing and developing. It was like someone saying to me "you have seven short years to dig a pit to hold all the riches your child can acquire in his life - the bigger the pit, the more riches it will hold”. (Obviously what they eventually put in the pit is up to them!). Who would not go out and build the biggest pit they can for their child!

Whereas other mother’s were bored with their children’s company, my children and I had FUN, learning. Not just reading; we went out and about and explored and discovered and instead of being stuck in front of a television we enjoyed their childhood! It cost nothing – I used a red felt tip pen and white card, we joined the local library and combed all the local charity shops for books! It only took a few minutes each day, we had plenty of time for other playing, swimming, etc. They did not miss out on anything that other children did. The only difference was when I went to switch off the light at night and the boys wailed “Oh, mum, can’t we have another five minutes to finish this page” - my children were 2, 4 and 6!! Reading and learning added a new, rich dimension to their lives. It did not detract from anything.

All my children started reading by the time they were two. My eldest son was reading Roald Dahls Tales of the Unexpected and James Herriott by the time he started school! Everyone disapproved. Including my mother-in-law ("I think children should be children!); I was berated as being a “pushy mother”, “stealing their childhood”, etc, etc.
The first year in school the teachers were not impressed. “We don’t know what level he’s at” they grumbled “Just give him a book, he will read it” I’d say. Year two in school was a different story. The children went off the scales on reading tests, the teachers claimed all the credit and bathed in the glory. Because they had been reading for years my boy acquired vast amount of knowledge that I had not provided. Everyone thought they were brilliant, their self esteem soared and it set the scene for the rest of their education.

They have grown into happy, confident. well rounded, happily married adults who have exceeded all my expectations. My eldest son is a Managing Director of a leading American Bank (although he went to the local village school and did not have a private education!), one son is a Consultant and the other a Multi Media Manager. They constantly tell me how thankful they are for their upbringing and consider they had a wonderful childhood. I now have four beautiful grandchildren and we fully intend to teach them in just the same way.

The very same people who tell me how “lucky” I am that my own children have done so well are STILL telling me at the same time how much they disapprove of “pushing/hot housing children” while sticking their own children/grandchildren in front of their WII or DVD player!! Its like saying “He is learning to walk so don’t take him swimming” you will overload him! The brain is like a muscle, the more exercise it has, the more it will grow and strength – use it or lose it!!
As long as it is always fun, you don’t “make them perform”, don’t push them beyond what they want to do (and don’t make them, or you, feel failures if they don’t do as much as you had hoped – if they “only” read 10 words, its 10 more than they would have learned!) and you all enjoy it – trust your own instincts – enjoy! The rewards will exceed all your expectations! No – don’t be ashamed you should be proud!!

What better gift can you give you rchildren than a lifelong love of learning?!

[NewMom27]

I can see that there are so many parents who are successful in teaching your kids…
I would like to congratulte all of them.

Dont bother about others…
People are like that…

[Bystre_deti]

windsormum, great job what you have done with your children! Congratulation. lol
I wonder if your children were able to read “faster than it is usual” if they learned to read early… Does this ability comes with it?

[NewMom27]

@windsormum post:42

! am the mother of three grown up sons. 35 years ago I read Glen’s Doman’s “Teach Your Baby to Read” with mounting excitement. It changed not only my life but the course of my son’s lives irrevocably.

Suddenly it gave motherhood a whole new dimension. I had a vital role in the development of my children’s lives at their most critical period - the first seven years when the brain is still growing and developing. It was like someone saying to me "you have seven short years to dig a pit to hold all the riches your child can acquire in his life - the bigger the pit, the more riches it will hold”. (Obviously what they eventually put in the pit is up to them!). Who would not go out and build the biggest pit they can for their child!

Whereas other mother’s were bored with their children’s company, my children and I had FUN, learning. Not just reading; we went out and about and explored and discovered and instead of being stuck in front of a television we enjoyed their childhood! It cost nothing – I used a red felt tip pen and white card, we joined the local library and combed all the local charity shops for books! It only took a few minutes each day, we had plenty of time for other playing, swimming, etc. They did not miss out on anything that other children did. The only difference was when I went to switch off the light at night and the boys wailed “Oh, mum, can’t we have another five minutes to finish this page” - my children were 2, 4 and 6!! Reading and learning added a new, rich dimension to their lives. It did not detract from anything.

All my children started reading by the time they were two. My eldest son was reading Roald Dahls Tales of the Unexpected and James Herriott by the time he started school! Everyone disapproved. Including my mother-in-law ("I think children should be children!); I was berated as being a “pushy mother”, “stealing their childhood”, etc, etc.
The first year in school the teachers were not impressed. “We don’t know what level he’s at” they grumbled “Just give him a book, he will read it” I’d say. Year two in school was a different story. The children went off the scales on reading tests, the teachers claimed all the credit and bathed in the glory. Because they had been reading for years my boy acquired vast amount of knowledge that I had not provided. Everyone thought they were brilliant, their self esteem soared and it set the scene for the rest of their education.

They have grown into happy, confident. well rounded, happily married adults who have exceeded all my expectations. My eldest son is a Managing Director of a leading American Bank (although he went to the local village school and did not have a private education!), one son is a Consultant and the other a Multi Media Manager. They constantly tell me how thankful they are for their upbringing and consider they had a wonderful childhood. I now have four beautiful grandchildren and we fully intend to teach them in just the same way.

The very same people who tell me how “lucky” I am that my own children have done so well are STILL telling me at the same time how much they disapprove of “pushing/hot housing children” while sticking their own children/grandchildren in front of their WII or DVD player!! Its like saying “He is learning to walk so don’t take him swimming” you will overload him! The brain is like a muscle, the more exercise it has, the more it will grow and strength – use it or lose it!!
As long as it is always fun, you don’t “make them perform”, don’t push them beyond what they want to do (and don’t make them, or you, feel failures if they don’t do as much as you had hoped – if they “only” read 10 words, its 10 more than they would have learned!) and you all enjoy it – trust your own instincts – enjoy! The rewards will exceed all your expectations! No – don’t be ashamed you should be proud!!

What better gift can you give you rchildren than a lifelong love of learning?!

Hi windsormum,

I have ques for you…

When you started to teach your kid and at what age you realize that your baby is reading.

Thanks