I am torn apart in making a decision about this, whether to give priority to career or early learning. I have already lost several promotions due to my long parental leave. Now that I am back to work, I am given two options to choose: full-time working or part-time working (until my son turns 3years). If I choose to work part-time I am afraid that I will not be eligible for any future promotions list. If I choose to work full-time I am afraid that I can’t do the early learning programs with him consistently.
I am basically a career-oriented person. After my son was born, I became more interested in early learning and love spending each and every minute with him.
If you were me, what would you choose and why? I am interested to look at every details that I might overlook.
I would hope maybe AAngles can chime in here. She has a very intense career and her little Ella has blossomed beautifully. I bet she could offer some great advice if you decide to take the full time route.
My 2 cents may be unpopular here however I will venture out my thoughts on the matter… I believe children come first especially in the early years. Careers will always be there whether you take them up at 20 30 40 50 or 60. Research has shown that on average people will change careers about 8 times in their working lives. My experiance coming from an academic background (Phd; Lecturing etc) is that you can get ahead when you do eventually have the time to do full time i.e. when kids start school - if you have one child then that’s about 4 - 5 years. Those years arent lost as well, the wealth of wisdom, knowledge and experiance gained from looking after little ones is unparalleled. Or another way of looking at it is: promotions/opportunities will always be there (its the nature of workplaces) but how many times will your LO be 1, 2, 3, 4years old?
I was on track to be one of the youngest heads of department at my uni department while I was a loneparent to my DS (now 6). Unexpectedly got pregnant and had DS (now 18 months). I didnt do any early learning with DS1 as I was working full time and then some. But with DS2 I started and eventually made the decision to go associate (free lance lecturer without any admin or meetings etc to attend) because I realised how much I had lost out on with DS1. Now DS1 love the stuff I do with DS2 and he gets a lot of it as well. IMHO its the best decision I ever made to just focus on them while I can. In fact I have decided that I am going to do a second PhD in aspects of early learning for siblings with autistic spectrum disorders once my DS2 starts school (big change from operations management!). But I have found that I really love reading about EL and I feel like its open up a whole new opportunity for me.
I was in your shoes, but that was before so many early learning programs were developed. I think you can do both with the help of the computer programs (like LR), CDs and DVDs that are available. Once you get a promotion use that money to pay for someone to clean your house or somehting like that to free up time for you to enjoy learning with out feeling guilty about a dirty house.
This is coming from a father, so my advise may not be what you are looking for. I have no idea what your financial picture looks like, and I guess that does have something to say if you need a promotion or not.
Before my twins came along, I would work 70-80 hours a week. After putting the wife to bed, I would read news (politics, etc…) and even play video games. I was the sole bread winner in the house and my pay scale has allowed my family many benefits (11 cruises, time shares, traveling abroad, etc…). Now that my twins were born, My priorities have completely changed. I live for my boys. My wife and boys are my everything! I have no wish to work any extra hours. I personally could care less about a promotion. My wife is now working part-time, but our priorities are on the children.
I personally believe that if you are comfortable financially, you should enjoy what you have. To me, the family unit in the U.S. is so strained in this day and age because women (mothers) have a greater emphasis on working. I really believe that a strong family unit is much better than climbing the corporate ladder. I grew up in a broken family, so I definitely know a thing or two about dysfunctional families. When I think of my father, I always think of the song “Cats in the cradle” by Kat Stevens or whoever that is. It is my goal to strive to be the best father to my boys, so they will forever appreciate the bond that we have/had together while they are/were growing up.
My daily routine is: LM (+ Shichida’s 56 day program) + LR (English) + Some signing times video time for sign language at least once a day (but try to do morning and night). My wife speaks Spanish, so there is also lots of Spanish speaking in the house. On my days off and when I work the morning shifts, I always do a swimming lesson with my boys (1-1.5 hrs in the tub or swimming pool). This is my personal joy; my personal reward for having children.
Ultimately, nobody can make the decision for you. You’ll do what you feel you need to do. I personally would feel much better knowing that I spent quality time with my boys and raised them to be well mannered, well educated and have a high emotional I.Q., so that I will never have any regrets. I hope my post is encouraging to you. Good luck with your decision.
I seems hard to decide becouse it will be a very new situation for you and your boy and you don’t know what to expect. We - people don’t like changes and then when it happens we realize that it wasn’t that bad as we thought. I am sure, if you love spending time with your boy doing EL you will be able organize yourself and your schedule. Maybe you can find a good caregiver who will support your EL activities.
I live in that part of world where people live on 400 eur a month ( I know there are poorer countries) and I know that it is very hard to do EL with little money.Mothers here work full time and it doesn’t mean they put their child in corner.
Be inspired by Aangeles and other working mums and don’t blame yourself.
I don’t think you would ever regret spending lots of time with your child, but you may regret spending lots of time at work. Hands down, I would choose the child. It is so much more rewarding to invest in your child than to invest in something for someone else. That is just my opinion. However, maybe you can do both.
I could relate to your question/problem because I was in the same shoe after I had my LO. This is what I considered when I made my choice of returning to work full time.
Who is looking after your child?
I have a MIL who is caring for my LO. So no worries of sending to daycare of abusive babysitter. If there was no one in the family to look after my kid, I would drop my career in a heart beat.
Do you have good spousal support?
This is shared decision. A single income family makes a huge difference. If financially able, then this shouldn’t be a prob. At the moment, my husband is providing everything. My salary is for investment and savings. I live in Malaysia. The local higher education is laughable. I plan to send my LO abroad, hence the savings.
Your career mindedness.
I took a 2 months break from my job and during that time, I was still doing some work for my hubby. Not a leisurely hwife, mind you. Truth is I nearly died from the boredom. If your career means a lot to you, you can’t quit cold turkey. Try a break or change to a part time job. That’s what I did, I took it down a notch and finally breath.
How much of early learning you want to incorporate?
Are you planning to do it the whole day/during mealtime/one hour a day?
If you quit your job, will you spend the whole day teaching? What you want to achieve at the end of the day?
I do it once a day, that’s all. My LO is still advanced for his age.
We all make sacrifices. At the end of the day, I just look at my LO and feel that it is worth it because he makes me smile and sometimes ROTFL…
