Best way to teach tolerance and acceptance

Parenting and Education (Other) General Parenting
1

This is very long, many apologies in advance and a big thank you to those who take the time to read this novel of a story. I have written about a subject that is most important for me to teach my child and finding the best way in teaching it.

I think we are living in a world today that’s filled with a lot of hatred or strong dislike against particular races and religions. I consider myself to be very accepting of other people’s choices and am strongly against racism. I don’t like to judge a whole Country or religion based on the actions of a few people that fall in the same category. It’s very important for me to teach my child not to always believe the media or other peoples perceptions of others.

I was baptized Orthodox, consider myself Agnostic but am Orthodox when around my religiously sensitive family for the sake of family peace. I have a child who me and my husband have decided to allow her to make her choice in what religion she would like to follow and become so she has no faith.

I have nothing against those who are strictly religious or those who consider their religion superior to another so long as I know myself that everyone is really equal. On a daily basis I read strong and hateful remarks on those who follow the Islamic faith or even Arab Christians just because they are Arab, I read the stories in the media and think what is this world coming to? What they say and encourage has a big impact on my child’s views later on once friends and media influence her.

There is things in all religions I agree and disagree with, however I believe that all the media hype against Muslims is encouraging crimes against non-Muslims or non-Arabs to go unnoticed or considered as “nothing or less of an importance than crimes committed by Muslims or Arabs” unless it’s a crime against children, that’s always big news in the media. This might not be the case in all Countries so maybe the hype isn’t as bad as where I am from and live.

I am afraid my chid is going to be raised around so much ignorance and hatred and I will have little impact on instilling her beliefs that you get your good and bad in every race and religion. I hear and understand the hype from the media and those being against arranged marriages, beheadings, terrorism, domestic violence, torture and the fact that is allowed is what makes some people feel disgusted but non-Muslims commit these crimes too even though it’s against our law in our respected Countries yet they go unnoticed or forgotten because the media doesn’t put MUSLIM in the headings or on the front page news. It’s like they are saying it’s ok to be raped or tortured so long as it’s not committed by a Muslim. That’s how I feel.

There is a stereotype for most Races and Religions and nothing can stop that. I hope to teach my daughter that anybody of any race or religion is a potential danger to her safety. There was and perhaps still is phedophelia surrounded amongst Catholic priests yet that hadn’t caused as much of a media stir and many other things than news committed by Muslims or Arabs. I want her to know that any man or woman can be a sexual predator. Domestic violence is everywhere. It’s just as bad to get pregnant just to trap a man as it is to have an arranged marriage.

You don’t have to be Muslim to be evil. If only Muslims/Arabs behave a certain way that no other race or religion behaves then we are all Muslims because the only difference is their laws permits certain acts of horrendous crimes in their Countries yet we are guilty in every Country by person/s in every religion and race of behaving the same way so why aren’t us Westerners given the same labels as Muslims/Arabs?

Domestic violence, rape, torture, etc- it’s all illegal in all non-Islamic based Countries yet people still commit these crimes. It may be legal in certain circumstances in Afghanistan and it’s surrounding Countries, but not every Muslim man is going to beat his wife, rape someone, force their children in an arranged marriage. In fact, vast majority of the hideous crimes and torture/violence against woman committed in the world are committed by non-Muslims/Arabs. How is my child going to understand this when we live in a Country and a world so hateful against Arabs and Muslims and only these people can be bad people? They are treated horribly!!!

I hear of American, Australian, French, Chinese men beating/murdering their spouses, incest resulting in pregnancies, torture dungeons for their victims and locked away for many years deprived, parents or relatives abusing and neglecting their child/ren yet people aren’t saying “they are Christian! they all must be like that? - all Christians must be bad!” or “Oh they are American? All Americans must be murderers!”

I play music from different Countries at home, I cook foods from these Countries, teach her some phrases and focus mostly on the Middle Eastern cultures/religion as that is the most misunderstood but many people around are very racist and stereotypical. I don’t know if what I am trying to achieve will work. Any other suggestions?

2

After reading all of that, frankly, I’m not really sure what the problem is. These are very adult themes you’re talking about and your fears are more centered around people making sweeping generalizations.

If you’re worried that your child will also make sweeping generalizations, then you ought to teach some level of logic such as various fallacies. I wouldn’t start with hardcore violent generalizations though. Just work on critical thinking on a level that works for the child.

As for race, the best thing to do about that is to talk about it. Again, I must point out that this is somewhat an older theme and would need to be brought down to the level of the child, and as that child got older, you would want to discuss the topic more in depth.

Interestingly, I’m in the USA and see a different side of what you’re talking about. Religion, in general, has had a free pass in the media; the populace is generally uneducated on what’s real and what’s demagogue (and there’s a whole lot of that going on). As a result, ignorance justifies military action… and perhaps that’s your primary complaint.

3

Yes you are right, these are very adult themes and shouldn’t be of must concern for very little children to be influenced by. Unfortunately some Countries, you can see young children playing with hand guns rather than dolls and being filled with lies and manipulated to hate Westerners and to hate this or to hate that and that is why there is so many extremists filled with so much hate towards others of certain religions or races, they are taught young to hate.

It may seem like an adult situation but don’t forget each generation isn’t getting any better in regards to respect. Sex and having a child together should be between two mature aged adults yet babies are having babies by choice of having sex as they don’t understand. Who would also think that a child is even capable of committing a rape crime let alone even knowing what sex is? but they are and they do. Stabbings in schools by kindergarteners - this is my point. My daughter is never to young to be poorly influenced in today’s generation.

Perhaps you are living in a much better area of the world? I did say not every Country will experience the same as what I see in the media or on the streets. For a child to learn hatred it has to be pushed into the brains of a very young child and kids don’t know any better. That is my point.

4

Societal decline in all its facets is a depressing topic, but certainly one that I have put a lot of thought into. The threats are even worse than you’re describing. All we can do as parents is to educate and prepare our children as best as we can; and even then, it may not be enough (but if that’s true, then we all have bigger issues IMO)
Undue influence in school is absolutely something I’m worried about, but thankfully I’ll have some time to figure out how to counter it.

Wish I could give you prudent advice, but I cannot.

5

Kids are being taught socially inappropriate conduct a lot younger than when I was a child.

I never thought I would ever have to think about this kind of issue at my daughters tender age but some of the things that have come out of the local kids mouths, 3-5 years old, has been absolutely appalling. It’s apparent these children are learning from their parents and the parents from the media.

I wouldn’t want to encourage my child to be beaten up because she made a racist remark towards someone who got offended but some parents don’t refrain themselves in front of their kids and they learn from their biggest influences. It’s stressing but as you say a parent can only do their best. Your advice is much appreciated.