I am looking for articles or blogs on attatchement parenting. I think that’s the name for it. You know, co-sleeping, breastfeeding, baby wearing. I was just trying to tell a friend about how it is beneficial and realize I don’t have any real info on it. Thanks, gonna go google again : )
http://www.attachmentparenting.org/
http://www.askdrsears.com/
http://www.kellymom.com/
http://www.drmomma.org/
http://www.thebabywearer.com/
http://www.mothering.com/
http://www.naturalchild.org/
I am very pro-AP… for the most part. But not because a ‘Dr.’ cleverly decided to coin the term and market it. We all know instinctively an attached baby is a happier, healthier baby, and probably grows to be a well-adjusted, confident child. But sometimes, it can be taken to an extreme. For instance, I know instinctively that babies need time on their own to discover their bodies rather than being strapped to mine all day. And some babies can’t quite figure out how to ‘un-attach’. There’s a short letter here from a mom with that problem, and advice: http://bit.ly/biC1Q3
I don’t think one can really ‘convince’ anyone about any type of parenting. It’s only when you become a parent that you see what feels normal to you and what comes naturally.
I did attachment parenting without even knowing what it was. But if it did not occur to me than sleeping with or near my newborn was more enjoyable than having her down the hallway, no amount of reading would have changed my opinion.
They just had an article in our newspaper about how co-sleeping is responsible for a large part of baby deaths that could be prevented. They are considering putting parents in jail that cause the death of their child by co-sleeping.
I read a similar article and they were able to prove that most of those deaths were due to the fact that the parent was under the influence of drugs, drinking or where smokers. I wish I had saved that article. Co sleeping can actually be links to prevent SIDS because the child uses the mother as a resporator. The mothers breathing reminds the child to breath. When my son was having sleep apnea our public health nurse recommended us to cosleep until his tonsils and adneiods were removed.
This is a touchy subject for alot of people. I
Well said, Hypatia. I feel the same way and believe most parents do as well.
SIDS and co-sleeping is such a contentious issue. We had a cot in our room and when Hannah was a baby she slept there so she was next to us but if she was really unsettled she’d come into bed.
I remember reading that co-sleeping was frowned on by the church in the old days because when parents had too many children they could smother the baby and get away with it by saying it happened accidentally. So there was a movement to ban co-sleeping to stop this but the idea that it is dangerous persists. My understanding now is that there is safe co-sleeping and unsafe co-sleeping and the cases where babies have died were because the environment was unsafe like waterdreamer said.
Our son slept in his cradle which was right against the bed, until he woke for his feed then, if I was super tired I’d go to sleep while he fed and he’d stay in the bed with us or if I was coping he’d go back in the cradle if he wanted to. Sometimes he’d reach through the bars on the cradle to hold onto my finger, precious times.
He’s just turned two and sometimes he still comes in and sleeps with us, I think it’s nice that he knows if he is uncomfortable on his own that he can come in and stay with us.
We went away for two weeks without Daddy to visit my family. When we came home Sabian slept with his fist tightly wrapped around Daddy’s hair - just to make sure he wasn’t going anywhere. It was beautiful.
Not so long ago, before we were civilized, a baby who slept in the “next cave” wouldn’t have survived the night. It is natural for us to be together, if not entirely practical.
It stands to reason that you shouldn’t go to bed drunk or drugged with a baby, in fact I can think of a whole list of situations where it is completely inappropriate, even negligent. But for the majority of us, most of the time, it is safe and simply a matter of what we are personally comfortable with.
I think you should give your friend as much information as you can so she can make an informed decision.
That’s the important thing. There are so many myths and horror stories surrounding the topic that before you make a decision it’s a good idea to have all the facts so you know you’re informed and you can decide what suits your situation.
http://www.jsonline.com/news/milwaukee/98453729.html
The children deaths are not only drunk and drugged parents. Obviously numerous children are getting killed and officials are considering arresting parents. They certainly are having a campaign against the dangers. Parents roll over and smother their children.
I have shared a bed with my children. Usually it is the fathers who roll over on the baby because they don’t have that ‘mommy’s instinct’. I think the only time parents should not sleep with their kids is when they are on heavy pain medication or sleep medication, also anyone who drinks or does drugs.
I firmly believe that if i hadn’t shared my bed with my son that he would have died in his bed. He had a breathing problem. I think that sleeping next to him helped his body ‘remember’ to breath. most often he slept on my chest. aside from being a great way to bond with your kids i am convinced that mom and baby should share a bed until the baby is at least 2 and their bodies are more self sufficient.
Besides, from what I have understood, most children who have died from sids were in a bed by themselves.
I think its important here to realize that attachment parenting is not encompased by co-sleeping. You can attachment parent your child while they sleep in a “side-car” arrangement or on a mattress on the floor next to your bed or of course in a crib if that is what suits your family best. As Dr Sears recommends in most of his books The Baby Book being one. There are so many options available to attachment parenting. In fact thats really what attachment parenting is all about, finding a natural, gentle, nurturing way to bring up your child.
That being said, I personally love co-sleeping and think that when its done safely (guardrails, omitting fluffy blankets, making sure there aren’t any opening where a child can become stuck) it represents the same risks as crib sleeping. I’d like to know how many children have died over the years or been injured from falling out of the crib when they try to climb out (as they always do), or from when safety standards weren’t what they are now and baby’s got stuck in the bars or other spots. I don’t think as many babies are suffocated by a parent rolling over on them, as its the same instinct that keeps us from falling off the bed at night that keeps us from rolling onto our children, unless as others have said, the parents are on drugs or alcohol.
Hope this helps!
It is also important to understand the distinction between co sleeping (sharing a room) and cobedding (sharing a bed).
Co-sleeping is highly recommended and thought to save babies lives as the mother is aware in her sleep and will wake when she becomes aware of a change in the child. I certainly wake everytime my son so much as twitches a finger.
If you google search “co bedding causes death” you still don’t come up with any actual facts or cases, even with such a specialised search.
It is a touchy subject, and rightly, because those parents who are going to bed with their child under inappropriate circumstances are putting their babies at risk and it is a horrid horrid thought. I had nightmares about it last night.
Having said that the majority of us don’t fit the danger group - drinkers, smokers, drug users, obese, heavy sleepers, medicated, soft beds, water beds.
It’s pretty obvious to me why these people shouldn’t be in bed with a child.
I love having my son with me, I would have been up every five minutes checking on him otherwise because I was so scared of sids.
But we each need to make our decisions…which should be based on fact - not hysteria and hype.
Oh my. I haven’t been lately! Lol. Thanks ladies. I agree Hypatia I did co-parenting things before I knew it even had a name to it : ) I was just discussing it with my friend one day. Mostly to simply talk about the subject. But also to give her info on why I do some things. Cuz I find it beneficial, and how I want to raise my kids : ) She works full time and I an a SAHM, we do things differently. I practice early childhood education and cosleep with my baby. But that’s me… To each his own. Hahaha
this is my favorite http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/natural_parenting.pdf
research and statistics instead of convincing.