Are homeschooled kids really at a social disadvantage?

hi there.

dh and i were just discussing our future plans.
the most important one of all was are we going to homeschool or put our son in a school.

the only problem with homeschooling is that our son could possibly be at a social disadvantage. (according to dh)

i bravely and passionately disprove this to dh.
then he says well lets google the disadvantages of homeschooling.

i make a cup of tea and think about all those socially advantaged people out there who had the opportunity of going to a “real school”.

i realise that they are not that sociable. people seem to want to learn skills to defend themselves socially rather than be more sociable. people now a days seem to have more difficulty with being confident in a social atmosphere and hence need therapy (self help or professional) because they are afraid of their insecurities (not all people but oprah admitted to being insecure when she was younger). i cant help but wonder could the school environment be responsible for this. with socialisation comes peer pressure. does peer pressure veer a child off the road of following their dreams. does it make them focus on their faults and how they are not perfect enough whichs shifts the attention off academics. does school make kids more competitive with peers rather than make them compete with theselves?

why are people becoming more reclusive and afraid of each other. (again not all). we are a virtual community but in the real world?
how sociable are we.

i teach in a mom and toddler group. i was locumming for another teacher at her own school so naturally i wasnt familiar with her kids.
there was this boy who had an amazing attention span for 3yrs. he was very capable in the class. when i spoke to him he didnt shy away like most 3yr olds or keep silent. he answered me clearly. his sister was 7yrs and proudly told me that she was in grade 4. she chatted to me easily. at the end of the class i found out that these kids were being homeschooled. they didnt socialise based on a standard set by their peers but rather interacted socially in a manner accepted by adults.

my experience with these kids tells me that it is not necessarily the case that homeschooling creates an unsociable shy child. i am not sure what method this mom had adopted with her kids to make them the way they are but they were truly wonderful kids to be around.

There are normally homeschool associations in surrounding areas that you can join. They arrange field trips and group activities for the kids to participate in. You also have to make sure that your child plays with kids that live near you after school. Or you can go to the park often. There are many opportunities to socialize a homeschooled child.

I have taught and been around homeschooling kids for years. I seen one case of an anti-socail kid who was homeschooled. I was public schooled and i was anti social until i got involved in 4H and other activities, like church, library, etc. If you get to thinking about it in the past there where no schools and the people did just fine being social. There are so many ways to be social while homeschooling, going to a zoo, being around lots of people in a crowded area as well. It can be difficult to allow time for these activities but it can be done. Playing sports is another good way. Remember every kid is different, for instance i was anti-social and public schooled.

My kids are home schooled and they attend a sports each (older ones). I have been watching them interact with other kids/adults. My observation - they do well with adults and younger kids (they have two younger sisters) and OK with peers. They are not antisocial and generally sweet with others :slight_smile:

Yes, it has to be a balance if you home schooling ,try to your kid spents time with other kids and adults also.

I am trying to find some articles that you can share with your husband.

I have homeschooled my children and find they have lots of opportunities to socialize.

We have a local homeschool group that gets together for fieldtrips, playdays and some classes.

My children have been involved with Guides or Scouts, swimming, soccer, karate, art classes and gym classes.

They play and intereact with neighbourhood friends and children from church.

They are also comfortable interacting with all age groups not just their fellow peers.

Like anything else, it depends on the individual.

My friend homeschools her children and they are engaging, charming children who have a ton of friends in their neighborhood, church, and homeschooling group. Their birthday parties are actually probably a fire hazard because of the overcrowding! In addition, since most of the homeschooled kids are “ahead” academically, their abundance of knowledge isn’t treated as freakish, but rather more of the norm.

In my work, I had a chance to talk to many children of many backgrounds. The homeschooled ones were generally very well-adjusted, conversant, and confident of their values, more so than their peers.

Having said that, I’m pretty convinced that I don’t have the patience to homeschool my own, but I admire anyone that does it well.

thanx stacey

would really appreciate that. after yesterdays discussion though i think he sees my view. he actually got excited about it.

i told him how when i went shopping yesterday i went to the fridge and opened it to pull out a box of fish fingers. Sa’ad exclaimed - fish fingers! he has never seen the box of fish fingers before. he is turning 2 next week. he also opened my grocery cupboard and found my pack of crystal sugar and says. Sugar! i want sugar. he hadnt seen that box before either!

what will he do in preschool? right now i wish i lived in philadelphia.

Why do people always take the “HOME” in homeschool so literally. As if homeschoolers are locked up in the house. While the public school students are in school, we are exploring and learning about science with other children and taking field trips to the capitol. People will ask the “social question” while watching their children socialize with your children at the playground.

The public schools tells their students, “Socialize on your own time! No talking! You are here to learn; not socialize.” lol

I believe homeschooled children are at an ADVANTAGE not disadvantage. For that reason if possible my husband and I will homschool our children. With homeschooling you are allowing the parents and siblings to be the childs main social group, not the peers at school. It allows you to impart your values over peer values. I have seen so many bright happy children get mixed up in drugs, apathy and belligerent behavior and I feel certain that if they were guided by their parents rather than peer group this might have been avaoided.

Here’s one: http://learninfreedom.org/socialization.html

Here’s a really great one: I love how she describes her children’s socialization experiences!

http://homeschooling.about.com/od/socialization/a/socialchallenge.htm

Here are a bunch of articles: http://homeschooling.about.com/od/socialization/Socialization_How_to_deal_with_it.htm

goodluck to you on your homeschooling. I had researched homeschooling for my early education course and am convinced that children homeschooled by dedicated parents have a social advantage since they have the time and are able to interact with people of all ages and various backgrounds.

Thanks for the links Staceycanada :slight_smile: I plan to homeschool in the future and although my husband is supportive, this issue is a concern to him as well. Reading articles that say kids aren’t at a disadvantage will clear this up and get him out of the category of those who take the “home” in homeschooling literally as Luv2read mentions :smiley:

Why do people always take the "HOME" in homeschool so literally. As if homeschoolers are locked up in the house. While the public school students are in school, we are exploring and learning about science with other children and taking field trips to the capitol. People will ask the "social question" while watching their children socialize with your children at the playground.

The public schools tells their students, “Socialize on your own time! No talking! You are here to learn; not socialize.”

i totally agree with this!!!

what’s so great about spending most of your day with kids your same age?
home educated kids are truly social because they are comfortable interacting with people of all ages
they truly understand the real world because they live in it everyday
not in some institution like most kids
besides what can a 6 year old learn from another 6 year old?
how to be a six year old
kids learn best and are happiest around people of different ages

Well said!!!

i AGREE…

You took the words right out of my mouth. :slight_smile: