If you are expecting your first baby, would you tell everyone (outside your parents and brothers) immediately or do you think it is better to wait some weeks because maybe something could go wrong and you loose your baby.
I was trying to wait as long as I could but my husband couldn’t wait to share with the whole world (we live in the US). When I had my ultrasound done I let him spread the news. I was about 5-6 weeks. I think it’s a cultural thing, they believe in black eye (evil eye) in my native country, so usually people are trying to wait with announcing as long as they can just in case if something goes wrong. My Mom didn’t tell my father that I was pregnant untill 3-4 months, didn’t tell her own sister untill 6 months!!! After my daughter was born my Mom was happy to tell everyone. Oh, and it considered a bad luck to buy things before the baby is born, so no baby showers there. Younger generation is probably taking everything easier I’m just talking about my Mom’s point of view and the people around her.
I was so excited that I told everyone not long after I told the father and my mom.
I see some ideas are the same all over the world. What a pitty not to have baby showers. Here in Peru you have one for your first baby.
Thanks for your comments sveta09 and nhockaday.
Could you enter your vote I think nhockaday would be inmmediately and sveta09 would be some range of weeks.
Lets see if we have many answers to have some statistics. :yes:
I think there is no right or wrong time to announce 
, I think it is couple’s mutual desision.
When I got pregnant I didn’t wanted to say anything to anybody, It just the way I am, I love to keep secrets lol
And I totally can relate to sveta09 story, because my husband wanted to tell our news to the whole world as soon as he found out.
It took me some effort to make sure that all our close family knew first, and then all the rest.
It all depends I think, with my first one I told immediately, but then, I only found out when I was 3 months pregnant. :laugh:
My second pregnancy we told everyone immediately again, and I lost the baby at 9 weeks, it was hard because you don’t want to announce to everyone you’ve lost the baby. Then every now and then you get reminded of your loss as someone you’ve not told about your loss, ask you how your pregnancy is going - you just get upset again.
With my current pregnancy we’ve told our nearest and dearest immediately, but waited until 13 weeks to tell the rest. It’s difficult to keep such good and exciting news to yourself, but in the end it’s better I think, not because I always think the worst is going to happen, but just to spare yourself that pain!
I didn’t tell anyone until Mama (i.e., the baby’s mama) said it was OK to tell. lol So I leave this up to Mama. So it is very easy for me.
We told everyone around 6ish weeks. I had thought about waiting but since I had really bad morning sickness I really needed people to understand that I wasn’t going to give them a horrible bug if I had to run for the bathroom mid sentence.
I don’t think there is a right or wrong time, but every couple has to choose what they feel comfortable with.
Personally, we waited to tell everyone (except my mom) until after the first trimester had passed. We chose to do this because there were 3 different couples around us whom ended up having a miscarriages before us. 2 of the couples told everyone as soon as they found out they were expecting. Once they lost their babies, they found it very hard when people who didn’t know what had happened asked how the pregnancy was going, or if they knew what the sex of the child was yet. One couple went through a very difficult time, as they had some people tell them that it must have been their fault that they lost their child. This made us very cautious, and we did not want to have to go through that, so chose to wait.
In our country it is mostly not told to anyone other than home members until 4th month.
In officeone can keep that upto 6-7 months but should tell at least close colleges so if
anything required urgently he/she can be of help.
Also as many times there are mood swings during this periods,
So its better that others are aware of ur pregnancy !
So it depends to whom you want to announce 
- Kreena
I’m so sorry your friends had to go through that a mommy.
We personally decided to tell everyone from early on because we had known couples who had lost babies around the 20-24 week mark so the 12-13 weeks “safe” period just didn’t seem all that safe.
Stellajo,
Thank you for sharing your experience, even though I"m sure it was very hard. I said this because I was just talking to my friends about this and that I’ll tell all my friends once I got pregnant with my second baby. My thought was that if something happen the parents will have more of a support system, but now that you mentioned about explaining everybody it may end up being harder. My guess is I’ll do it the same way we did it the first time around: we told our parents, siblings and closest friends.
I am only 8 weeks pregnant now and I have told pretty much everyone (and now I have told you lol) I am a type 1 diabetic and that not onoly raises the risks of miscarriage, but it also raises the problems of the first trimester including going severely hypoglycaemic so I need people to know in case I need help when I am not myself and when I am unable to do my work as well as I should be able to. If I were to miscarry I would also want some support to grieve from people who have been through it. I did see my baby’s heartbeat on a scan at 7 weeks which also decreases the risk of miscarriage by a lot. I found telling my mother and mother-in-law was about all that was needed - they tell the rest
With my first pregnancy we told only my parents and sister at 8 weeks. We made it a special event and surprised them with the news. We wanted to do the same with my husband’s family but our schedules could never align. Then, in week 12 my husband had to tell them - they were at the cabin together (I stayed back because I had to attend a conference)…basically, they found out because he had to rush home because I was miscarrying. It was a horrific experience and what made it worse was having to tell the few friends that I had let in on the secret that I was no longer pregnant.
After that with my next two pregnancies we told my parents and his parents immediately to request that they pray for us. Unfortunately, both of these pregnancies also ended in a miscarriage before the 12 week mark.
With my fourth pregnancy we told our parents again, early on, for support, but basically no one else. They found out by noticing my belly grow - and even at that I tried to hide it and avoided direct questioning as best as I could. I wanted no one to even guess. I lived in complete fear the entire 9 months of the baby dying again. I didn’t want to hear anyone ask about the pregnancy or the sex or buy baby presents… (My mom did buy a few items but I made her keep it at her house.) I didn’t even get his room ready until in my 9th month. Even in the hospital delivery room I tried to prepare myself for the fact that I might not be bringing a baby home.
Miscarriage really messes up your brain. Please don’t judge my “neurosis”…if you’ve ever had a miscarriage and so very much desired that pregnancy to thrive, you will understand. For those of you fortunate to not have experienced one thank that the Lord for that privilege.
With my fifth pregnancy, we told no one other than family - and that baby died at the 12 week mark - on my birthday weekend.
So,. my advice is to keep things to yourself until at least the 12/13 week mark… But do tell your support people early - they can celebrate with you or help you should something go off “your” plan.
I am so sorry Stellajo and Kizudo that you have both experienced pregnancy loss. I understand how devastating this is.
My first pregnancy was much anticipated and we held off telling most people until after 12-13 weeks. Everything was fine, we had the usual scans and there were no problems. Then all of a sudden my waters ruptured at 23 weeks and I was flown via RFDS out of our small town to the nearest regional hospital where 4 days later my first son was stillborn. It was heartbreaking but amongst all the explanations and having to explain to people we saw rarely that our baby had died when they saw us months later I discovered that a lot of other women had also had stillborn babes and were a huge source of support. There was no reason why my baby died that anyone could find.
Less than a year later, again at 23 weeks my second baby, another son, was stillborn. This time I lived in the city and attended the tertiary specialist hospital for all my appointments but to no avail.
After that I vowed I’d never have children because I could not imagine going through that again. Unexpectedly I fell pregnant again and at the end of 9 months had a healthy, full term baby girl. Since then I have had three more pregnancies and three more healthy baby girls. Two of them were even born at 40+10 and 42+5 days gestation.
You never, ever get over the fear though. Every time I’m pregnant I can’t relax and enjoy it until I have a live, healthy baby in my arms. I am paranoid and never prepare anything until the last minute. So I totally understand how you felt kizudo.
I did choose to tell people that I was pregnant earlier but since my babies were past the stage of being able to hide a pregnancy it seemed pointless since for me the danger zone is 20-24 weeks. In both cases my babies had nothing wrong with them, my cervix wasn’t incompetent or anything like that but they were too little to be considered “viable” (what a horrid term that is to describe a baby).
I think as others said there is no right or wrong time to tell people, just the time that is right for you and only you can decide that.
Julie
Well I liked to enjoy the news only with my parents and my husband first, after 3 months I told other people but I think is just such a great new that you just want to enjoy with the closest people…anyways nobody else will understand how happy you are.
Julie - I’m so sorry to hear of your losses. I am so happy that you are able to enjoy parenting, now. Unfortunately, there are many, many loving and capable women and men out there who will never get the chance and long for the opportunity.
All - sorry for an overload of information in my previous post. I’ve been a bit emotional lately as it’s coming up to the one year marker of my last miscarriage. We had already seen the heartbeat and were convinced that our miscarriage days were over. Each miscarriage was hard in its own way. This one was hard because we knew the joy of a baby already (they would have been 2 years apart) so the loss seemed more tangible. So…sorry…and I’m also sorry if our stories of miscarriages and stillbirths have distressed any of you pregnant woman.
The right time to announce is up to you. I have always waited until people started noticing and asking on their own, but I am just that way.
This is such a personal decision, but we always ended up telling everyone early. With the first, because we were so excited that we couldn’t keep it to ourselves. With the 2nd, I started to show very early & my in laws were going on a month long holiday. We ended up telling everyone at 6 or 8 weeks because I could not have hidden it another month & wanted my inlaws & parents to be the 1st to know.
I was very blessed to never have a miscarriage, but a friend who did said that she believed in announcing it early, because people would be more understanding then. They would share her joy, but also her pain if the baby did not survive.
I am very sorry for all the miscarrieges and really i think it is the main reason why some take longer to announced your pregnancy.
Maybe the title is wrong because my intention was not to see the ‘Right time’ for the announcement but to hear when was the most appropiate time ‘for you’ to communicate it to your friends in general.
thanks for sharing your point of view.