Early Reader, Later In Life.

[christinc21]

Thank you all for the responses to my original post. I was just curious to see if others had older children and how they were doing after entering school.

[neric6373]

This topic is very interesting and I have thought about it, since I, like others cannot homeschool, I would love to pursue my career, but at the same time give the education to my children and teach them apart from their public school education. I think we need to strike a balance , especially when talking about parents who send their children to public schools, Agreed, it might not do too good for them, but what about their social skills when you are teaching them at home? The world outside also teaches them a lot…we just need to be careful of being obsessed about flashing encyclopedic knowledge everytime all the time…Children need to be children too and it is right to save them from emotional problems later on. I still love my children, follow ENglish and Math and extra bits of knowledge, they go to public schools, doing very well and we are all happy…I think ultimately it’s the parents who need to rethink what they need for their children. Goodluck to all of you! Great topic…

[Aguh]

@Frukc post:15

I am sure that psychological aspects are 10000 times more important than encyclopedic knowledge.

Very often, happy and self-confident people are more successful than clever people.

I fully agree with you, Frukc.

In regard to Frukc comment: I highly recommenent this book:

Author: Jesper Juul
Title: Your Competent Child

Amazon link:
http://www.amazon.com/Your-Competent-Child-Toward-Values/dp/0374527903/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1240954306&sr=8-1

[staceycanada]

My older daughter (16) was reading books by the time she was 2.

She was always ahead of the other students but was never bored.

There were many things for her to research and learn about.

She is also incredibly social and would go to school just for that reason.

She still loves to read and has an incredible thrist for knowledge.

[cybermommy]

This is a very interesting thread. I am relieved to hear about so many early learners doing well socially and emotionally later in life, but not fully reassured, as I know there is some selection bias in anecdotal evidence. Naturally, when our children do well, we will be anxious to share their stories, but if our children become withdrawn, bored with school, or plant bombs, we may not be quick to advertise them on You Tube.

I suppose that even a meta-analysis of multiple multi-center trials yielding results and a conclusion with a very small probability of error would still not necessarily predict what was going to happen to one’s own particular child, as each child is unique (as each parent).

I suppose the key is to listen to one’s child’s signals about what he/she is ready to learn and not to overstep those bounds, but also be ready when the opportunity is there.

[Curly]

@Frukc post:15

My brother learned to read with flashcards, age 4. Now he is 43.
I learned with ordinary method at 5.

We both are rather talented in literature, music and nature sciences. He was more bright. He wrote poems and stories which were published. His music teachers were surprised that he can read notes all the line together, not single notes.
He did not finish the university (I did), now he works ordinary job as computer repairer.

We had rather unhappy childhood. Our parents did something like “un-attachment parenting”, my mother was too sick to take care properly etc.

It would be a long story on how wrong our childhood was. I am sure that psychological aspects are 10000 times more important than encyclopedic knowledge. With my doughter, the safe attachment is the priority, and teaching is just an entertainment.

Very often, happy and self-confident people are more successful than clever people. You know, clever people make suicide sometimes.

Agree! Parents play a very important role on Children’s happiness. The question looms, what and how shall we guide and nurture our kids properly so they will thrive in academically, mentally and socially if they were sent to school or homeschooled?

to Aguh, thank you for your recommendation.

[Curly]

@Frukc post:17

Hi Tanikit,

Concerning success, I think it is something like this
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow’s_hierarchy_of_needs

I think, boring is not a problem. When I was bored I entertained myself with writing small poems. Laziness might be a problem.

But everyone here talks only about the school. Like the life ends with the last exam.
Early readers are very good at school - because learning is what they have learned to do. After school, they need another features. Ability to make decisions, to take responsibility, initiative, to to confess mistakes etc. Do you teach your children for that?

I think, early eduaction comes with several risks.

1. Extended attachment. Close attachment with mother is necessary in early years but later people need to separate emotionally. Othervice your child will be dependent on you, without iniciative and without creativity.
   Extended attachment may result in alkohol dependance etc.
   Avoiding socialization, homeschooling can create this risk.
   Imagine family where 40 year old son is living on pension of his 70 year old mother, drinking, beating her. Early readers are among them.

I don’t say that it will happen but we must take it in account.

2. Many mothers here are expecting that their children will be the best at school. It seems that their expectations and plans end with the show where their children are better than others.
   Sometimes some mothers feel a temptation to show to others how bright is their child. If they do it too often, the child

• feels te expectations which he/she can not fulfill;
• is upset when after some years he is as clever as other children are;
• is being demonstrated to others like an ape at circus.

I know several families where one of several children is early reader and he is also the looser of the family. Probably, because wrong activities of mother.

I don’t say that it will happen but we must keep these things in mind.

/nod

[Frukc]

Now I know that early learning itself does not cause unhappy personality.
This is a side effect which can happen with unhappy parents and badly instructed parents.

It is very good that currently there are several active discussions on psychology.
I think, it would be very good to have a special board in this forum where to discuss psychological aspects only.
Probably there are psychologists and teachers which can share their experience.

I have read ~ 1 m3 of books about the parenting and child psychology and I have attended courses on children emotional parenting. But I still have to learn and think because early teaching is a very particular case.